Well I guess it's getting over you
getting over me...
it's a shade of vast pains I see...
but it's something...
at hand...
in control
I have none...
coz I inside
become worthless
no speech no mind
echo...

missing you...
reach out I whisk air
emptiness sits in...

awaken by the cracking of crickets...
after the many sleepless days
I found comfort on soft linen.
But there alone, I lay...
strengthless, tired and heated
by the chill of constant pour
and the shivers sent by the monsoon winds.
With bird's eye view I see myself...
lonely, woebegone...
all curled up under the blanket
unable to warm the cold...
how is it joyful for a new year to come by
when such despondency lies within?...
I guess I'd just lay back shutting of crickets
and fall into the dead of the night...
asleep...
exhausted I am, but somehow I can't...I'd try...
what is it that's haunting me?...
without love?
or the coming of a new tormenting semester?
or the rush of blood in my brains for all the crazy nights
in my fight for survival...
missions after missons...
role play after role play...
cracks of firing piercing through the silent nights,
up hills, up trees, embedded in shrubs or a cocktail of choco-like water and mud...?
or is it the emotions of combinational feelings above...
that wreck the senses of my mind...
to think to have found what I truly love at the lead of 2006
but to find that what was between was a misfit that caused
so much pain...
so much tears...
so much aches...
so much breaks and reconciliation...
so much depression...
for two...
the two in love...
that burned acid fire
in destruction of hopes
by the coda of ballad 2006.
Leaving me yearning her very much,
yet be near I may not...
be loved I cannot...
to love I'd wanna try...
but hateful of myself I'd become
to see myself falling in ditch after ditch
again and again...
failure unending...
I guess,
Yes it is...
it's the emotional combination...
the cocktail of what dissolves my heart and soul...
like the diminishing of flaming lamborgini.
the fury blue slowly disappearing into the clear shot of spirit...
I know...I still love...want to embrace...
you...