I was.....

Happy,
jealous,
smoked,
mentally drained,
but yet definitely in love...

a mixed set of feelings all in a simple day...

But the only thing I just sit and wonder... if it's right to feel jealous at all...

I'm not sure how to react....not sure what to say....
Maybe it's something that I should just brush off and not bother about...
Or maybe I deserved it after the heart break I caused and things are just imploding down upon me...
I don't know.

But after taking a nice warm shower at the end of the day... returning to my residential cubicle...
I decided... yes...I am jealous...
Probably a guy's thing but then...maybe it's just me.
somehow, I don't feel much at ease... It's not the matter of trust... but I just have the feeling that is scratching at the walls of my mind...
Keep quiet and reconsider the need of feeling so...
or just open up and see what happens next?...

Well, life is full of unexpected stuff...isn't it?...well, when it comes...just deal.
Argh!...whatever...back to my notes and books!