Oh damn I'm frustrated...it's 5.50am and I can't seem to sleep....exam at 9am...
Damn shit...am I screwed.

What is it this time?....

sigh...oh well... might as well let the insomnia come...
I'd rather that than having the wrong sleeping time!
argh!!!


All my buds seem to be dealing with some stuff at the moment...
Richie...having some decision to make...and feeling frustrated...
I think I might just know what it is actually...but hey...I think
there are some point where one has to stop and think if it's all worth it.
And worth is basically self perception...all up to you.

If it's a good thing and situations are seemingly strong enough to just let go
of what you have currently and just seek something of the unknown whilst purely having
the company of love...then go...
but having doubts...just alittle bit...think again then.

We all don't want you to make a decision you'd regret bro in future.
open the enclosed box and look what's inside before deeming it for keeps
or to the thrash... know thorougly what you are holding before letting go.
We have confidence you will make the right choice and the choice you'd be happy with.
We're just behind you...just look behind and a pat on your shoulder comes...take comfort
to that and just reflect and think things through.

Ja...leadership programme seems to be some draining thing...
like some adventure camp you put yourself through but this somehow stretches you
in someway that maybe I can't really see...but anyhow...I can see it's draining...
and I reckon it's very much about dealing with people.
I can't really comment much on this coz I've been one person who have been sadistic enough
to put myself through lotsa physical torture in tough trainings...mentally trying situations...
just to test myself and my limits...
Just that now...with academic stuff...hahaa I already know my limits...
I CAN'T STAND STUDYING CRAP!!! THAT DOESN'T APPLY TO DAILY SURVIVAL!!!!!
shit...I often think what in the world am I studying this and that for when I'm not going to use it in the long run...
horrible!
even the people teaching me are telling me that the educational system is horrid...
even the great scholars of distinctions and As...telling me at the end of the day, they realised that
they learnt nothing that helps them through the next step in life....survival...or should I say...
work.

oh well...don't think don't think...it's ending soon!
just try....

Paul...nice....all happy with his current position...that's great....toils and little struggles but I guess he is dealing great!
With all the holidays he just went for...and the one that we're all planning together....
hey everyone...we're gona have fun ya!

And buds...
The Kenneth is soon gona be out from the cage....!!!
VERY V E R Y SOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!
I'm so gona be over joyed...
somehow in some part of my brain I'm not even thinking what if I fail any subject this semester...
scary huh...coz basically I don't care already....all I know is that I'm just trying...
the darn stupid cert isn't important to me anymore...
not like the time I was tied up with SIA....with the whole thing about 2nd uppers and above...
pitting myself with those scholars of 1st class or having masters and pHd...
Afterall, at the end of the day...when I was there, they couldn't do many things that I could...
so much for being academically brilliant...

Recently I just told a professor that.... somehow I feel that he thinks he is darn great in this field and in his life
plainly because he is just being sheltered and in comfort of the educational protection...
like they all need him for the knowledge he has...
he is like someone in the stormy waters constantl having a float...since the day he started off being in the waters...
while those like me are rather the kind of people who simply get thrown into the waters and it's really up
to us to keep afloat...
and thus...when we find a float, we actually can live with or without it...while they probably not be able to
or to be fair...find great difficulties in doing so.

I got sick and tired when he kept thinking that students these days can't explain or get things so simple to him
into their head and remember it. These people can never bring themselves to the level of students...
Well...fortunately, there are still some good kind ones who are empathetic...