Optimizing...If I must....going through some thoughts...

Taking some time off the night to think...
Think about the weekend that has just passed...
I guess no matter what had happened.
Pain?... hurt?... regret?...Failure?...
Whatever...
This weekend angled me to look differently.
All these bad stuff that brought me falling....
being in troubled waters and totally gotten me whacked,
however didn't exactly pushed me down straight to the ditch.
A new positive perspective...
In every calamity that I may face, with time and some serious thought...
I'd get only stronger... more hardy...
That should be the ME all along right?...
I've been an optimist back in the sporting days...
Can't I just apply it all in my life just like that?....as in the same mindset?
I know I can...

Dare to walk in..then I must dare to walk out easily... in confidence...
There are many things in life to deal with...why just get stuck on one issue and put everything else on a standstill? Gotta keep movin'...
relationships...sigh... she meant alot to me... I wanted to give her the best I could in time to come, but if in reality I don't mean shit to her, why force it in the first place?...
Just flow it through.... if it comes to and I am accepting, good... if it goes and never comes back so be it... let it be.
My love for her maybe there... but I'm getting numb... I don't know when the time limit is though...but,..hmmm...
in time if nothing saves it... it's just hit the spot of me just not wanting to cross the line anymore... too painful?...well maybe. See her feeling that it's so suffering being with me?.... well maybe... Whatever!
Just when that time comes... The feeling will just slice off...
If things are to come back in again...it'll really take some work to get it going... if that's even possible.
Anyway.... how long can love be when it's a one way street?... Don't know.. we'll find out.

I guess I've tried... let's just be...I'm too tired now.
Though I miss those times very much, but what to do....
Life isn't smooth. So just screw the expectations and just get myself moving.
ever cross each other again...hmm we'll see then.

AS for now...
I'm just gona sway myself through Capoeira and the very thing she wonderously inspired me to do...Salsa! Funny how things change huh... me and dance?...argh.. odd stuff but whata heck...willing try. It's all about the "scare myself once in a while" thingy right?....hahaha
But in a softer form...less dangerous...less aggressive...all in a different point of view.

Cheers!