my weirdest feelings..."I've got a feeling...."

I've got a feeling...
I might have lost you...
that since the day we were supposed to talk
but yet didn't know how to say...
since we left the motion of the topic...
the very topic of us...
I've got a feeling
I lost you...
The chill that I feel
here and there...
the silence disturbing...
just between us...
And that somebody might be making advances
while I fall off from you...
probably that somebody has been making advances
way before we even had problems...
and struck into it while we were at it...
I'm wondering...
truely... am I still there inside?
or am I just something who is just there
for you while you are left free?
Sometimes, I find myself falling for u all over again
yet sometimes I hold back in fear of our problems
that they may arise once more.
I loved you and I loved you more than what you can think and imagine..
Maybe we somehow have to make some things clear between us...
Maybe being in limbo isn't much good...
I don't know...
I always want to be your special someone...
yet I dare not ask...
we left us once and coming back
our expectations rose...
my practicality
my personality
my character
my situation
I hope they were things that will never hinder
our loving continuity...
Maybe someday you'll understand...
All along I'd wanna be your man...
now and always...
This point on
I've trust in you
a trust that at the end of the day
you know what you want out of everything
I am not questioning anything
don't want to tumble on that no more...
But if you think others are more worth while
advances made and you pick them...
then I guess...
up to you to decide...but tell me...
who may love me...
but yet may not want to be with me anymore...
if it's to hurt
then...it's to hurt...

I loved you...
Just not having you see it...
Having you to think it's love
made from convenience
which may probably be why
why you have been in questions yourself
and laid mental criterias for me to fufill
to thus prove myself...
my tragic state...
my tragic fate...

I've got a feeling...
But I guess you'd never reply...
I might just never know....

What am I standing on?
What am I sitting on?
Oh is it comforting to be?
No... it's filled with uncertainty...
who lays the grounds?
who says if I'm found?
who knows?...
Where art thou who can answer all these?...

sigh...days of my life...

oh well...