gained 5kg in 2 weeks!
Lost 3 in a day....
with 2hrs of rock climbing (bouldering), 26 laps of swimming, 8km run,
wieghts circuit training and a big big jub of water for the day....

lol....and now my body is just burning...from the heat produced from all the day's workout...

isolation in progress... studies studies....it's the final burst...
But I'm real tired...
like swimming in a swimming pool of mud...
like running with a ball weight chained behind...
like cycling with a parachute attached...
since the recovery...
seems like coffee doesn't work much...
and redbull doesn't give me wings...

HELP!!!

I think things in my body is are starting to set right...
with the great fatigue...I'm starting to take naps...
but to gain much more energy I eat much more!!!
OMG...

Gained a freaking 4kg is 2 weeks! hahaaa....madness

gona be a rolling ball soon!

~Come to me and hold me
And you will see
The love i give
For you still hold the key
I'll never go far away from you
Even the sky will tell you
That i need you so
For this is all i know
I'll never go far away from you~

Long hours of briefings
long but enriching moments of dealing with people...
exercising the soft skills once more.

All of a sudden I found myself with a title...
An Asst.Manager of Industrial Products Division...
Good enough to stand in the crowd of Singapore's official launch
Fuel Cell Community.

The Goal of Clean Energy.

The whole thing sounds real interesting...
the future of big cash flow...
My future in the business...
but it's yet a small portion of what I'm gona be dealing with...

So little time...so much to think... so much to do...

A winner is a title for the self fulfilled...
victory felt is what defines you...
Anything else external,
is pure ego

``````````````````````````````````````````````
I feel your imprint on my thumbs...
Your defenses highlight my weaknesses now ...
And everywhere I go I hear you in the words that I use...
And the light in my red mood...

``````````````````````````````````````````````

"Her ghost hides
In my mind
In the night
In a way she’s haunting me
I’m wanting her still
Through rose colored skies
Or blue, blue moonlight
There’s miracles on high
She’s walking by
When I look at you I’ve got a 2nd chance
Really need to have you now
One by one they fall it always breaks me down

The quiet
Cuts me thru
The candle burnt
The knife has turned
The pain withers
Alive I know deep inside
When I look at you I’ve got a second chance
Really need to take it now
One by one they fall it always breaks me down

Her ghost hides
In my eyes
In the night
In a way she’s haunting me
I’m wanting her still
Through rose colored skies
Or blue, blue moonlight
There’s miracles on high
She’s walking by"

Maybe it's...

today I just got hit by the worst wave of migraine I've every gotten!!!
ARGH!!!! totally feels like I should just pry open the skull of mine!

Maybe it's the amount of knocks I got on the thursday...
Maybe it's the total amount of combat collisions...
Maybe it's the work stress that is building up...
Maybe it's the end of it all...

Oh well... Maybe it's just pure horrible migraine...

The weird outcome of my check up...
after multiple knee jabs, my ribs which I felt the crack from...
showed no signs of internal injuries...
no signs of hair line facture...

while I gave a dislocation of jaw...hanging with a jaw lock...
and a fractured collar bone...

Something is wrong somewhere...

Maybe it's the madness all contained in the ring...
Maybe the whole survival mentality locked on once a jab at my face just forcefully punched in...
Maybe it's the rush of adrenaline altogether and heightened the extra strength...
Maybe it's just some fire deep inside that isn't extinguished...
Maybe it's just pure defence for myself when confronted by highly offensive opponent...

Oh well... Maybe it's just good training and endurance put to good use...

Whatever it is... pressure heating and rising...
I can feel it... temper not to be trifled with...

Eyes are in flames...
yet the tiresome body wishes for rest
But the mind is a running squirrel cage...
with a stupid energizer rodent...

Sometimes I wonder why
The fields of love seems like a game
where I a walking piece
at a lost on what I am to find
how is it that I always end up with a sigh
while up there the one most high
just playfully throw the die for the daily moments to take place...
some steps I find one awaiting
some steps I find I'm awaiting
yet some I see myself eager to take the very next
while I see the the person on the next moving off soon...
out of my reach...
the hurting madness of the whole cycle...
I should just stick a blade into myself and end the game
and call it quits...
but yet damn it...
it isn't me...

If I had castles built on high...

"If I had castles built on high
I'd find a million ways
to write your name against the sky
Just to let you know
you've caught my eye...
And if I had more than wealth could buy,
I'd sell it all and start again
Just for a chance with you...
I'd build my world around you,
Just to show you...
How you take my breath away..."

with a short hr after the over drive installation on a fairly new WRX
of 2yrs old...
the joy ride turned to a drag race.

Smashin' gas with so much torque...
just when I was done with the machine and system studies on mechanical torque
theories and now I'm pushin' that over the limits!...OMG...

GRrrrrrrrrrr.......running the fierce engines all ready to blow...

A good distance from Emergency runway to where reservoir was located,
the stench of burnt rubber just filled the air together with the power combustion of Fuel...
rocketing the WRX forward at the fastest speed I could handle...

snapping a shot at a corner with a good 10mega pixel SLR...I must say she is damn good...
of coz...with abit of touching up.

Rock on! the every saturday's workout!

"This time...
all I want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place...
This time...
You burn me with your eyes
in my heart I look past all
my hurt pain and lies
you take it all away...
I've seen you in days and all
it was never enough
and it keeps leaving me needing you...

You swept me
and took my breathe away..."

For the moments...
suddenly, I yearned the touch...
I missed the time of warmth...
not with any is specific...
just the feeling...
and I now fear the effect on my reaction to those around...
treading on boats could be disastrous
even if it was just mere seconds...

There are many things up on my mind...
all at a go...
Can't exactly tell what and which to listen to...
plain "Rojak"

The world is small...
Connections I find from one to another...
one by one...
all in just a few days...
People I thought I lost...
found...
people that could spark up other memories...
fires...


I'm now officially a rep of Rotina Internation Pte Ltd...
in the new up and coming
Fuel Cell techno start up kinda of biz in Singapore by Temesak Group...
And yet I'm still studying and slogging as a student...
imagine that...
Sigh....the thought of school

seeing you again...
it does put a different spark into my daily life
esp when it's your smile I'm thinking about

Funny how easy it seems to be able to make issues blow
by just sparking a fire to what they sow...
just like frying up a disk....
sprinkle the oil
a dash of spices
and all you do next is just pure stirring...
and see what happens...
it starts to boil....bubble up...and things from the inside just unfold...

It's burning....stress stress!!! Pressure...all in the outside world!...what the future brings!

Suddenly in this phase of my life...
I feel great pressure...
Imagine having rejected a number of high paying jobs
for the reason of future prospects...
I've chanced myself upon another one that will probably bring me to greater heights...
but at a probably also ridiculous rate....
with madness burning of brain juice...

Shunt away $5k paying kinda job for your information....
and ended up with this...
This kinda bright future...
but could probably get me into working ....
very much like a workaholic...

Anyway...
Saturday afternoon,
met up with my future boss to talk about issues after my graduations...
I came to know of my final destination in this company....
which was very much to become a director in one of the divisions he is going to set in
time to come....which is probably in a couple of months...especially after I'm set and going.

The new office would be ready in june and I'm already to sit in to talk about how I'd like my office to be like...
How my department will be like...it's my planning already.

And more to come...

Was asked... what do I see myself as in 3yrs time?....or...correction...at the age of 30?
Hmmm....I said...I ain't too sure, but I'm sure I'd love to settle down...and attain some personal settlements....
get a house, a car...(damn I'm thinking of RX8... only young once for a selfish car....wahahaha)
with everything almost fully paid for and less loans to deal with.
And the next would be having a strong and stable job...I'll last me a long way....hmm well seems to me...
this could very well be it. Coz...in time, once taken over a division and being a senior board of managers...
I'm actually running the division like my own biz and just giving him a royalty of the profits while he
does other stuff....in his life....and cash...

having said all that...
there are things I've to be well equiped in....
and I was told that probably the norm of a person would need to take at least a yr to get in tuned with the facts and to
learn all the specifications in hand and in manuals...
but he is gona give me just 6mths...
and in just a split...he says, he's got the confidence I can do it in 3months....OMG!
keep halfing the amount, I'd see myself having to be good to go by today!

and once I'm ready I'll be like the boss on the technical specifications and all enquiries dealing with
Motors, pumps, blowers... the expert of the company....all ready to make the money roll and
be in marketing and design of industrial solutions to the region...and for some areas...to the world.

It's like rightfully taking over almost quarter of the enterprise...and with a share holding of it.

A small guy like me suddenly hit off like that?...

OK ok....stressed...
I didn't know what to think when comparying my past experiences in work and abilities and expertise to what I'm
gona be hitting off with....wow...totally off the charts...totally off course....
Why do I like to SM myself?....madness....

And so...Boss wanted to give me a huge start off...considering Google and yahoo offers...not forgetting credit suisse too
But looking at the learning phase I'd wanna give myself and not to be overly loaded with the pay I'm getitng and
the things I've to hold on to....
I said...I guess I'd better get some starting norm for probation first... that way...people won't be talking...or even thinking
I'm heading into something impossible...
Ok now...having said that...I got myself a reasonable 2.85 a month...and also, company provides me a car at the luxury for my own use...
and besides that...with this probation...every 4months I'm getting a review for increment...and the ups and not small...
probably a huge fold...
and with that...
He just smiled at me saying...head off well with the first 6months...fire off in a year...and whatever I'd think of having for my goals at the age of 30...
I' probably already have gotten it...no sweat!

Damn...should I even believe myself?...
luck?...or just a slap on my face to wake up?....

Kenneth Chan....future Boss...
creating his own regional empire with the initial aid of an experienced and well rounded business man...
who climbed out of 2 bankruptcies and now a millionaire...owning 3 mercedes 1 BMW 1 skoda 3 vans and an upcoming
lamborgini/ferrari/maserati... He calls himself a car collector...just buys them....maintains them and not drive...just park them in his big house of swarovski lightings and 3 BMW sound systems and 4 ultra flat at least 40inch LCD screens...
well guarded by 2 huskies and 2 beagals...

Does that sound good enough for confidence in such a boss?....
Damn I like to think so!....

Weekends....weeekends....
was cool having another 2 new friends joining in the
rocking of walls...at yishun safra...
glad they enjoyed it too...
and I guess I conquered anything that was for horizontal bouldering in the
rock gym....now it's gona be time for hitting off for new routes...

But somehow...the fatigue of my body is setting in....too long no sleep....it's going to kill me soon...
and today my migraines are back with fury....
argh!....
But still Dinner at Ikoi....damn shiok! all the Jap food...all the protein load for sashimi and stuff...
WoooHooo!!!!

My lack of sleep is getting to me....argh....bad bad....
this is really bad...
sigh....

memories suddenly waved back...

I dreamt of the moment...
"I was made to love you" streaming at the background...
heated up body I was...
weak and sick...
But there dried ice I had flowing out...
like rushing bora waves...
filling up the room and sipping out of the door under...
A melted heart made of ice I regret disappeared
and made a puddle of cold water...

Wata heck....I'm just a melted puddle of cold water anyway...

Don't need a lot of things
Can get by with nothing...
And of all the blessings life can bring
I've always needed something,
But I've got all I want.
When it comes to loving...
Oh you're like my only reason...
My truth I see.

Like water
Like breath
Like rain
you're needed...
like mercy from heaven's gate above...
Freedom is felt in your arms
and it can carry me through
each and everyday...
The hope that moves me
and courage, again and again...
The very spark that can rescue me
from the raging cold winds
and the thunderous days...
it's amazing
that's how you are...
but you didn't know...
you couldn't see...

Oh where do I begin I look for a way
to tell you and there's so much to say
just look at me and say you wanna know
for my hear is real and here to stay...
Countless moments I tried to find you
told myself and reminded me that it's all true
If you wonder about my love from end to start...
come see it...
just come over and see it...
through the window of my heart...

Seated...
dreamy... and missing...
like on a cool early morning
with banana pancakes
and cuppa bailey's 'n latte
but yet all fulfilled...

like a day, bed and breakfast
with sex and candy
all line up in abundance
but yet unsatisfied...

Colour Everywhere

used to seeing black and white
never really in between
waiting for the love of my life
to come into my dreams
everything is shades of gray
never really blues or green

needed someone else to turn to
someone who could help me learn to see
all the beauty that was waiting for me

you, you put the blue back in the sky
you put the rainbow in my eyes
a silver lining in my prayers
and now there's colour everywhere

you put the red back in the rose
just when i needed it the most
you came along to show you care
and now there's colour everywhere
everywhere

my life is so predictale
never any mystery
but ever since you shined the light
all of that was history
now i have a hand to hold
and a reason to believe
there's someone in my worth living for
i was hanging around just wishing on a star
to put the happines back in my heart and...

you, you put the blue back in the sky
you put the rainbow in my eyes
a silver lining in my prayers
and now there's colour everywhere

you put the red back in the rose
just when i needed it the most
you came along to show you care
and now there's colour everywhere
oh yeah...

you care and now there's colour everywhere

left those hazy days behind me
never to return again
now they're just a fading memory
coz baby it's all so clear to see
the beauty that is waiting there for me

you, you put the blue back in the sky
you put the rainbow in my eyes
a silver lining in my prayers
and now there's colour everywhere

you put the red back in the rose
just when i needed it the most
you came along to show you care
and now there's colour everywhere
a silver lining in my prayers
and now there's colour everywhere

you came along to show you care

Banging on the trance music...
like sometimes you'd just want all the energy out
totally transferred....
then comes the rock music mixed in
R&B with hip hop...
and soon leading to soul and acoustics...
Just days when you just throw your handphone...
be uncontactable...get out of the messenger life
and just blast!...
Don't have to bother who thinks what about you...
don't have to care how people look at you as...
Or anything of that matter...
views will be just views...
their emotions will be just their emotions...
feel pissed, feel anger... feel frustrated...
oh that's their problem...
but feel happy and stuff... oh you wanna share,
just bring it on if not... feel free to buzz of either way...

those self righteous people who takes all to judge...
to get pissed easily...you can carry on...
just carry on...
at the end of the day you find yourself being filled with the unhappiness...
not me...
you wanna crash and burn...fine by me... none of me biz...
This time....
this moment...it's just me...
that's the way it's gona be...

I've been to many places...
I've met difference races...
I've seen so many faces...
But it's you I can't forget...

I've been through high and low...
Til I got nowhere to go...
I got this funny feeling...
That it's you I'm still missin'...

The weekends....
cool....good climbs...had fun...
with my 3 buds....
Getting them into the sport...
great workout....
exercise of determination...
and really something that really is calorie burning...
But this time round, most of the time trying to conquer over hangs...and those upside down routes...
Thinking if I should make it some weekly thing...
hahahaaa....Hmmmm....

Soon enough I hope the next step with them would be....
On natural rocks! Rock On!!!
wwahaahahaa....

Whatever,
however...
Don't give a shit much...
you can think all you want
curse all you want
the shit
go fall in the pit
I'm freakin' SICK OF IT
not even missin' it
damn it pissin' it
crappin' shit on it...
put your eyes away if you don't like it
I'm not gona fight it
Just let it be...
the way that I see
Gee Wee...I'm happy you see
Oh just let it be...

In time I stall and wonder
how some things come around
fear and troubles hit like rolling thunder
missing and yearning for
but yet on looking I'm losing more

Sometimes I ask myself
is being honest worthwhile?
is being true gona bring me a further mile?
Today I slept with thoughts
clouding in my head...
Sleep sleep...the body rests
but the mind stays in constant reflection...

A very warm welcome
My African Frontosa!

~There's nothing i won't try
Just to make you mine
To get a little closer
Would be so divine
And everytime i see you
You make me come undone
I always watch you near me
In you i found the one
Oh why don't you smile my only star
Shine on baby
Smile my only star
With you by my side
baby it feels so right
And now that i'm close to you
I could stay all night
No matter where i go
No matter what i do
In the end your smile
Brings me back to you
You shine so true
I can't believe you're mine
And everything may change
But to me you'll always shine~

See what happens when you've got the darn weather keeping you indoors...
totally wet....and heavy to the max... cold...
with a very very badly beatened brain
filled with all the work all the strains and hassle...

A time when having proper meals outside becomes a problem...
it all becomes a question...
And so, you bring out whatever possible stock you have in store...
in the little cubic white cooler, and make fire like in 'cast away'...
After that it's all about burning and let the smoke rise to the senses of everybody...
that hey... we're sharin' some BBQ iin the midst of the this cold weather at the....
erhmm....I won't say comfort but simplicity of the staircase and the convenience of near vacinity of our rooms...

Way out of the norms from cooking the noodles, frying of canned food, stirring up pasta carbonara or basil and olive oil or even
whipping up some ham and mushroom cheese omelette... maybe topped with some nice pancakes and fruits like kiwi, grapes, banana and blue berries if it's int he morning...

But it's all do-able and the difference would be made with sharin' the time with some neighbours...

Strangely anyway, these days I've been very much heated on with chile wine especially Cabernet Sauvignon range of reds...
If needed to for beer, it would be the same Boddington and Kilkenny, some Oaky tasting draught all in a can...

My fridge is loaded!
anyway... it's good.
But once back to the rooms...life turns back to the norms and the work goes on...
the brain wreckage continues...

It's already half way through the heavy so called "recess week" of the term...
and the shit will start flowing through once 5th of March sets in...

Way to go....just way to go...
There's only one way actually...