Sometimes I happen to sit and bitch about the days of my life...
all within my mind...
All in wonder why it isn't the way I hope for it to be.
Well I guess I ain't a road that you can really see a path that you're going.
I've humming the music of 'everlasting' and now I'm just on the verge of seeing that
as total bull crap.
a feeling of having given up on what I hope to be long term.
May be Buddhism might have some truth to what life is.
That nothing is forever.
Hmm...well maybe I know what's forever...
the rut that goes through.

Maybe even with my so broken body, I might just wanna go back into the sporting lifestyle...
No need to be the top optimist sportsman and live the kind of life I used to be 7 years ago
where it's all about I fast I go, how strong I become...
But rather just the free mind that I held inside.
going into the high seas and braving the storms...
Seems to me that the physical challenges threatening my life was easier to deal with
than the mental chore and the tiresome daily routine of bothering about everything.
When you can't not bother about it all.
Can't help but to worry and care for everything that's close within my place...
If one day I ever do....
I'd probably already dead.

Fortunately for blogs or online diaries...
where I throw my written vomit. :p

Fortunately for my trusty weights that have not failed me and seen me through all the pains
well and giving me the pains too....physical ones that is...

But I've yet to find a trusty dummy for me to just do my hard punches on....to let that high energy free
the heated energy...

Oh well...maybe giving up the macho shit....music itself can soothe the soul and once in awhile some tear
can just cleanse the soul inside...Only human.

Damn it...This very moment I need to tire the daylights out of me...