Up and down from 2nd to 4th I go...
wanting to see her so much...
but yet she ain't alone...
why is there is stoppage?...
what's stopping me?
am I not a person who knows no fear?
Why the fear of the past?
Why the fear of her not alone?
Why then the fear of walking right in?

why why why?

Coz I fear I might say another set of wrong things?
of turning crazy?
being madness and tearing in front of her again?
What what what is it?

I'm lost and all alone...
long before I used to think
that I could make it on my own...
Since you left I hardly make it through the day
My tears get in the way
And I need you back to stay.
I wondered through the night...
to search the words to make it right...
With you here close to me
All I really want is just the way it used to be...
I've got to make you see,
I'm really lost without your love...
seems that life without you isn't worth the trouble of...
and I really love you with all my heart...

A day in gloom and darkness

The day just went by…
Woke up with a morning sigh.
I felt empty…
It wasn’t hungry nor mindless
But rather a heart that has lost
A very great and valuable thing.
Month’s time went by,
Started with the beauty and warmth.
But once again losing my senses
With so much to deal with…
But holding so little resources.
My mind is lost…
So lost deep inside you.
You didn’t know,
Maybe coz’ it was simply
More emotional that material.
Something intangible can’t proof anything.
Well that’s only human to think that way…
I can’t help it,
likewise found it hard
to simply keep my darn mouth shut.
Blurting out things that hit you so hard.
I guess I broke it.
The very outcome I never intended for.
Especially to you, the person I’ve always wanted more.
And then as I walked to laboratories one after another
There was no drive in me to go for the next
Constantly dragging myself like to ground I was fixed.
I haven’t been sleeping well
With so much in mind
Like I’m trapped in a prison cell.
Locked up in a place of my own,
Pondering over matters over issues
Over studies over projects…
The wretched student’s life.
For a moment in the afternoon,
Three twelfths off half day gone…
My mind went blank…
For the moment, I saw darkness…
I was calling out yet nobody could hear me.
My body and mind felt heavy…
And the head was bruised on the back…
Physical pain was it…
Flowing into numbness…
Climbing then into consciousness,
I found myself in an unfamiliar place
With people in robes and in white swifting around me…
Blurred in my vision.
Then clearing up, a hospital I was…
Apparently my mind shut off after quiz and the migraine sparked
A blackout in my entire consciousness.
I can’t remember where I was last.
Things happened so fast,
I could hardly feel it…
But the pain resides… just kept coming.
Cabbing back, all I had in mind
was to have You by my side.
I need you…
I love you…
Would you be prepared to forgive me?
Let us start all over again…
Where the bliss came
The warmth enfolded us…
Bring us smiles
And me, pushing away all that’s hurting
All the past for a fresh anew…
I love you darling…