Think I'll start going through things in another circle...
But I know I need some time off....
everything...
Get my head back in whack...
undo some triggering thoughts...
[m] will be someone I'm around for...
sometimes... to like is not to have
yet for some,
to have may not be for likes...
someday....
we'll see where I go...
when the time comes... I will know what to do...
I believe I would.
But first...we'll see how tomorrow comes.

=)

Had this lyrics resonating in my head the whole time...
Meant very much...
Said very much...
And embedded in with my thoughts...soo much...
How what's the use?...
couldn't catch it...
was just a goodnight song...

anyway....here it goes....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel like I never measure up to who you see
Sometimes I think I can't give you all the love you need
You keep changing everyday
Amazing me in everyway.

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything I have

I never dreamed I could ever feel the way I do
I hope and pray I will always be enough for you
I can only do my best
I have to trust you with the rest

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything I have

I promise I will hold you through the changes and fears
When life seems unclear
And when I can't be right there with you
I know there's angels by your side

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything... I have
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The beach...

2 Tests in a row...
Screwing up my head big time early in the morning...
Ain't thinking all too well...
Got another set tomorrow and the head ain't too good for such pounding...
For once after so long I'm losing my mind...
Just for alittle while...
Just for this while...

I think I long for the times when I lay on the soft white sands
the brush of the gentle breeze...
The Beach...
And I close my eyes... I picture myself just there...

But I ...alone...only a rooted tree...

"I saw you coming from a mile away
Trying to hide behind that pretty face
Bet my last dollar baby you been bruised
Poor little heart all black 'n' blue
Last thing you need's another pickup line
You must have heard them all a thousand times
God only knows what you been through
Believe me I've been broken too
It aches, it breaks, it made me wanna fade away
I've been around that block a time or two
Baby, I don't want to fall in love with you
I try, but I can't get around the truth
Please don't say my name, give this heart a break
I don't want to make the same mistake but it's too late
I'll leave on the light
These arms are open all night
I got your face in the back of my mind
I want to reach in and pull it out
And I'd be lying if I didn't say
When you're this close I'm afraid
Of the way I'll feel if I touch your hair
The way I'll miss you when you're not there
And that I'll see you when I close my eyes
It's too late, I've crossed that line
It aches, it breaks, it takes your breath away
I'll still be around come closing time
Just for you..."

I would promise the world but it's out of my hands...
But I can only give you everything....
That I am...and I have....

If I had to describe the very picture in my mind
I'd say it's a scene with stormy weather...
and I stranded in the midst of nowhere
visuals blinded and can go no further...
There I am in the blistering cold...
hoping for warmth
I find none...
Shivering in my bones...
like I a fallen angel...
losing all graces and brightness...
where my pillar is
where my fire is
where my strength is...
Grasp hold of none I can...
And there I reach out for a fading figure...
but to hold I can't...
to touch seemingly impossible...
Oh you....yes you...
don't you know you're...
Just like a star...
My star...
but diminishing to afar....
My painted picture of my mind...
And here I'm left falling awake...
Just blue....