Admitted: I've fallen in love...
That's the Naked Truth... :p

Need time off....
Need time off...
Maybe my brain is simply thinking 24hrs straight that it churns around all matters.
Information everywhere clumps in a huge mixture of ideas, cautious thoughts, fears, trauma, creativity....etc...
all in a big pot of brain juice.

How to save myself? Or maybe I can't... :p

At times, to deal with fear is to prepare for the eventual, but yet psychologically, in preparation for it
possibly could bring one to start shutting off emotions and reach....
Nope...not good...not good at all...
Don't even want to go there, unless I'm forced by circumstances...
been there once...felt very heartless, emotionless...robotic and stone hearted....nope nope...

"Kenneth...just work on it at a different angle maybe...
And maybe, you'll find some answers...
Maybe you'll see what the deeply hidden feels, and so you understand the naked truth...
What isn't said, isn't non-existent...yet what's said is definitely existent...
A feel of heart thoughts, tone and body expression says a million"
-Says some voice during snoring hours...

A disappointment of the day...
and ringing of the past my fears I say...
------------------------------

As positive I maybe, but yet somehow, in times where situations drew blood in
the heart, it's yet difficult to just hold on unshaken.
No matter how much one can give at different stages in life,
somehow, without a word...disaster struck.
Time and again...
time and again...
yet I hope it's not once again...
Seeing what happened to a friend, who held on to his love for a girl...
4 big years and hard support...
long term planning and much thoughts...
sacrifices being made...
yet all of a sudden, the lightning struck him with one of the most common reasons...
"I'm sorry, I don't think we go well together..."

Sometimes it is true that when girls say guys are bastards...
but yet how is it that I'm seeing very much of the other way round the situation?

And even as I love her so much...
yet I would always fear losing her..
I fight to keep.
just really hoping that big considerations have taken place
before making that decision of acception...

And as I'd wanna stay in content...
the content of the other unknown to me, might not be so...
Yet what can I do?...
Everyday I pray...
Everyday I hope...
history won't hit again...
One after another, have I not reflected enough to give what I've missed?
Have I not improved tolerance and attitude in handling matters?

I know one cannot give a fairytale many dream of
but I do know, what one can give is a fighter inside...
to keep things prolonging to the death of me...
the life force inside and the assurance of trust and strength...
but time and again when the rain comes to put out the fire...
it does need just alittle boost sometimes to fan strong the flame to keep it going...
Afterall... it shouldn't be just one sided right?...
I'm no fire generator...I still need the fuel somehow...
So what has my girls gotta say?

Some say they were sorry though it was the past...
Some say that they were naive then and didn't now what they wanted..
Some say that simply wanted to be spoiled and I couldn't keep doing that...
Some even said... "Why do you even have to long 10 steps ahead?"
Now that is the oddest thing I believe to have heard...
the irony of wanting to see the longest roads, and being asked not to...
yet when not seeing the longest roads, am being ask why aren't I doing so...

Some light here please...
Was told not to think too much...
but if she didn't matter to me...yes that would be possible...
but too bad for me I guess...she means alot to me...

I just had some rockin' day!

Argh!!!!!