the remainding... the finding... the wonders...

Going through the day...
not wanting to miss the thing in my life...
esp the important ones... Min, then everything else.

I guess, things are just digging deeper into me...
The need to see her happy, but I'm wondering if I really am.
Anything that comes to mind, I'd just do...
not thinking if she would recieve it in the first place...just do...

I'm feeling her kinda numbness... which I feel that it's probably because of me.
I feel there is a need to spend some time with her...together...to do some stuff...
out of the campus compounds for a walk... just some quiet and lonely just the 2 of us kinda walk...
To have once again a good weekend, which I guess we didn't have a chance to have since we started again...
we were both filled with stuff to do in the weekends that it's never left alone for just the both of us.
And I hope that with this coming week 'break' I'd put some time off to be with her. doesn't matter where ...just be.

I feel my crawling for her... the need... the yearn... the lack of her...
And I just want to make up for the lost times...the times we lost and thus an outcome that I never wanted...

I love her...
Baby... I hope you know...
I hope that you'll be happy...with smiles and joy to be back with me...
I love you...!

Remember I can't
of memories I was last well rested...
probably the only time was...
oh yes I do know when
The most important to my living sanity
she was there...
Those were the moments I just dissolved
Right into the arms of her...
Felt nothing but pure comfort.
Now, I just want to keep my life
hitting a pause...a direct coma
holding still everything that's in bombardment
completing myself once again.
It hasn't been...oh no it sure hasn't been at all
that I know for the past few days at least
I was empty... now I'm beginning to be filled up once more
I thought I was at a lost...
was smashed at the sight or the knowledge of the way things are...
And how I dealt with it all...
I just want to daze through the afternoon with you
flowing in my poetic mind once more...
It's been just for you...
only has
Just as my heart
for you alone and nobody else.....


Feeling sad at the way things were...and how things went through for the passing days...
Many people asked me why and what happened... for the while I didn't dare say...in fear of bursting...
with eyes bleeding tears of love lost...
But having spoken to a few close friends...guys and girls alike...
Wanted to have a different perspective of my life and how things were...
I couldn't just take a view for it... I know how naturally friends are.
They side you very much... If I'm wrong about how things were...I'd like to know and not being covered up.
I want to know the complexity of love...of r/s...
It's important to me just as it is in wanting to work this r/s well...to keep it...
To fight and win over the sense of numbness...
I'll put in even my last second...or my last penny on this...
Coz'...I realised... the effects of how words are can be at wrong times...
Regardless of how adult you intend to deal with it.
I realised that men in general are just naturally stupid pigs in love...
I know too.... that I didn't use to be like this... I knew what to do...I always did..no matter how
and now yes right now I want it all back...I want all that abilities back...
God take away my sensitivity to the other world or the visions that I really don't wanna see...
I just want back what humans call Romance...
I so that I may
Romance...in the simplest yet loving manner to the one who's dear to me.

Baby... I hope that you are able to see what you really mean to me... if not, at least slowly seeing some sparkles...

Like a vast green field with a budding flower...or the unending ocean with a brilliance of a growing pearl...

When it comes...it comes...

But please, wake me up... with a slap when needed to... save me for the clouding of the earthly rushes... pull me back to baseline. I won't let you go...
So please don't go..