I just close my eyes

~Tomorrow morning I have to leave
But wherever I may be
Best believe I'm thinking of you
I can't believe how much I miss you
All I had is hear you tonight
don't want to waste this precious time
Give me something to remember
Baby put your voice through me And I'll hear you forever
Anytime that we find ourselves apart I Just close my eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to my heart
And that's where you'll be
If I just close my eyes
Till your drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
If I close my eyes I know I'm gonna see you again~

Today...the day....just had convocation ceremony in the morning....
took the full day leave...
but it was cut short...
responsibility calls.
went back to work....just like I was activated in the army...
But yet...somehow, I still went back to work...feeling all happy and with smiles...
great isn't it...hahaaha..

Back to office to clarify some cash transfer for Pakistan and Saudi...
and complete a sales transaction to Taiwan...
afterwhich,...meeting with a strange client who knows crap about his own
problem and application. Took a madness 1 hour just to slowly draw out to make out what
he was trying to tell me...
some people....are pure ridiculous...fortunately I was good with patience today....hahaha
if not....aiyoh aiyoh he is a gone case poor thing.

Oh and I chanced upon some rumour about the reason for me to make a next trip to KL...
it was plainly to take over the responsibilities of my present GM who is also the MD of the
KL Branch!!... aiyoh...aiyoh...

So fast?... this is too fast that it seriously scares me....
hahaaa

Deep in thought....deep in thought....
is it planning that is running through the spinning engine in my head?
planning of?
for awhile...out form the craziness of work...
my head spins...
spins in wonder...
And there I stare blankly...just blankly...
Pale white at the wall in front and the ceiling above...
Oh yes...my drive...the forwarding drive...
Like I'm emotionally affianced...
to such an extance...I get lost...knowing that I've been swept off my feet...
But yet...
I just don't know what to do...
If I should
If I shouldn't...
or should I just save the trouble of being spurned...
And pain all over again....

Je pense que je suis tombé pour elle...
Juste la pensée simple d'elle m'apporte des sourires et la chaleur pour le jour...
Mais je ne suis pas sûr des possibilités....

sigh....

Is this true?.....really?....sounds good...
coz I am feelin' something....wahahahaa

I'm in a rush for time...
every other day on the move...
in a rush...
trying to stabilize my own system...
Really need to get things going the way I want it to be....
For proper systemic automation...
It's a need...
then...
only then it's work smark...not just work hard...

Like a huge pile...
a yoke was placed upon me...
All with much confidence
That I've the strength to take the role.

From 1yr to 6 mths...
now...3 mths I may not have...
a challenge to my art of survival...

Sometimes it put me to wonder...
Am I that good?...
At some point, I don't think so...
yet I fire with confidence and dare to try...
that makes the only difference.

My theory of looking 10 steps ahead...
Now has to be applied with 2 times the speed and effectiveness...
Especially with soon taking over the portfolio of my
General manager....(Bao Suah Bao Hai)...
"Generally do everything around the place" manager...

hahahaaa....

My portfolio is adding on in growth way too fast....
feels alittle choking though....

The way you part your fringe...
revealing the sweetness and innocence...
the look that literally melts anything
hard and strong...
And what shocks me...
is to find the similarity...
The will and drive...
and hopes so high...
that nothing....
nothing in this world will take you done...
you keep moving...

What I see and how I'd see...
was much commonly found...
what I'd do and what I do...
like I've met my match...
But is this just a test?...
Is this some game I've been put on the world stage as before?
Where I play some one who takes a shot...
and probably get hit by a thousand strikes once more...
Yet I still stand in trust for that one day to come...
10years of tryouts...
and I've only been yet hitting around the stripes beyond the target...
Is this it?...
or is it fate for me to carry on my aiming and firing?...
For that....truly....I'm drained...
What many have thought of me
is no more in the present...
Though I try...but yet hold fear...
hope starts not...my scorpion filled mind...

"For the little moments I'd say
I was trapped in your eyes in many ways...
many times I couldn't look away
for the thought that the beauty in there
I'd not get to see everyday
will haunt me to my dismay...
You smile...
unique and sweet...
And presence soothing
A feeling that not words nor expressions
can fully describe...
Oh your captivating eyes...and your warming smile...
simply softens my hard and rough nature...

I'd say...I skipped a beat at first sight..."

For the few days...text conversation given me the feeling
that's all right...
building the confidence and interest...
like I'd wanna know more...
I hope I haven't been written off just yet...
=)

~Maybe tomorrow you'll say that you're mine
You'll realize, I could change
I'm gonna show you I'm in it for life
I'll get you back someday
Maybe tomorrow~

For just a moment....
just a little moment...
Tiredness sits in...
I close my eyes into the emptiness...
emptiness of everyday that fills
beyond work times...
sometimes I ain't sure if I should just get into the insomnia
where I'm not limited by time...
The periods when I just keep doing the things I need and want to...
Take chances on certain matters...
regardless of the important or the not so important things...

I live for myself...but yet at times when I just want to let go...
Who am I living for then?
~~~~~~?~~~~~~~~

At these times...the draining feeling sips in....

Collection of transcripts and my bachelor's certificate today...!!!

My graduation Gown....and the squarish hat....that makes me look like coocoo too....
Oh well at least it's all done...

And all the the people around...like some professors, alumni officers and university administrators
asking what in the world am I doing now...
not being in the industry that I've studied for the past 6 to 7 years....

Well...I'd just say, something larger than my own vision....
And they started guessing....Hotel? Aerospace? Aircraft? service? bioscience? oil and gas?
machineries? argriculture?
electronics? electrical? material and environmental science?
Hahaaa.....well I just replied with a smile....
as I did to one of the professors...."My dear prof...basically it's everything you just mentioned....
there are things that are niche to the point where the business is needed in every way,
every industry...industrial or commercial... like I promised you...somehow, you will smell me around.
And one day you'll see my email reply back to you
even if you set off an enquiry way off asia"

Funny how things are...
but today...I kept marketing my business and my company til....losing my voice....aiyoh....jialat...

Weight control is a very difficult and emotional endeavor. It drags you to the edge of human tolerance and tugs at every emotion in the human condition. As I talk with people every day about this, the agony and frustration of this struggle is a common topic of conversation. People are always contemplating that monumental question – will I ever reach my goal? In other words, will I ever be successful at this and get fit and healthy? But what is success?

Whether you succeed or fail depends on the actions that you take and the decisions that you make along the way. Where you end up is a direct result of the decisions that you make. Each and every choice you make has the potential of getting you closer to your goal or taking you farther away. That’s why it’s so important to be a good decision-maker. Success is all about the choices that you make because today’s choices are tomorrow’s reality!

If I can be so bold as to greatly oversimplify, weight management is a decision-making problem. Sure you need information about nutrition and you certainly must exercise, but for the most part, this is a decision-making problem. Everyone knows that they should eat right and exercise but they consistently choose not to. The bottom line is this: The physical act of eating always follows the mental decision to eat. You always decide to eat before you engage in the actual eating. There is not great mystery here about which comes first as in that old philosophical chicken and egg debate. The “physical” act of eating always follows the “mental” decision to eat. Success lies in choosing wisely and living in the moment.

on the verge of just spending on it...

Funny how things are...
I so feel like just booking a hotel room just to see the fireworks...
So unlike me I know...but somehow I feel that
this year's fireworks is going to be a jolly good one...
Might as well have a good full view....right?
hahahaaa.....
Best to have someone special in hand...
all turn to marvelous!

HOHOHO.....

I close my eyes, you I have in mind...

I'll remember you
It's daybreak, and you are asleep,
I can hear you breathe now,
Your breath is deep
But before I go,
I'll look at you one last time,
I can hear a heart beat, is it yours or is it mine?
I look at your lips, I know how soft they can be,
Did they know what they wanted, I wished they kissed me,
And your hands, that I'd hold in mine,
Now they're reposing on the pillow,
Will they ever miss me sometime?
I'll remember you, you will be there in my heart,
I'll remember you, but that is all that I can do,
But I'll remember
Your eyes, that always make me shiver,
Now they're closed, they just sometimes twitch a little,
And your body, I could hold for an hour,
It sent me to heaven, with its heat and power,
I'll remember you, you will be there in my heart,
I'll remember you, but that is all that I can do,
But I'll remember

Tired...draggy...but yet re-awaken...
Thoughts...openess brings truth and understanding...
There are yet somethings goes once and let be...
thrown in the confusion...
bring in the weirdness of situations...
firing up the disregarding attitude...
A single lay of the land tells much of how things go around...
like Uncle Wilson will always say...."no matter how big....in life...you pay to learn"
Yup...nothing comes free...
Won't do no more...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Funny how things turns out to be..
Met a super long time friend...
since I was a walking toddler....knowing nuts about
the world and the pains of the land....
Totally didn't recognise her...and now she is the bride....
3 years my senior...
And now we're just all so different...
I guess I've reached the age where much of these
celebration of matrimony will come to place...
this year...will be 4.....so far...
last year was 6....the year before was 5...
damn....and counting...
yet all will pop me the same old question....
Aye it's not like I go to a super market and just buy it off the shelf leh...
Cool on it...

My Buddy number 1,2,3,4,5

-----------numbers is no order of preferrance----------------------------

Buddy no.1 just came back from fun----------------PaulYEHthat'sYOU
Buddy no.2's gona fire his eyes through-------------RICHIEyou'reTHEone
Buddy no.3 tomorrow singing songs heehee---------yesJAdon'tLOOKeverywhere
Buddy no.4 everyday's stocks and numbers even more-YUPmaddyYOURturn
Buddy no.5 smile so friendly but aiyoh so shy...-------addyAHdunPAIsehLAH

________________________________________________________________________________

Oh damn it Oh damn it...
I really really really....wanna get done with those tummy problem...
goodness me....it's striking me with sudden pain and stuff like that...
leaving me strengthless sitting by the toilet bowl so frequently....
The Toilet is my new found serenity of peace by the way....hahahaa...

So sickening...

This whole darn weekend was basically spent in the toilet....
No I wasn't locked in there for punishment...and neither was it that I loved the
smell of it....

Stupid tummy flu just swept me off my feet....
Seriously... it's horrible....

felt so weak...

aiyoh...

All the stuff I brought home to do...I couldn't get done.... not that I can bring it into the toilet
and do any typing while having the cramped up face right?..... lol......hahahaaa....