It's been days
It's been weeks
since my fingers start to type streams
A flow of words of thoughts
like a rushing river
from an up hill to the down bubbly lake...
The roaring power and tumbling water
calls out words of my heart
the thoughts of my mind
yet with alittle silence of my soul...
For the weeks that come
rough days, heavy mind and less fun
The days passings bring confusion and much wonder
Much things to ponder
Like how the world turns
The ticks and tocks of a lass
Just to work our smiles with my best...
Sometimes, it seems nothing is enough
sometimes it seems doing nothing is enough
sometimes it seems thinking of something is tough
sometimes I wished, a little spice
some salt and pepper too much
a raging fire that builds inside
angering fumes blew the skies
with no water or rain to soothe
but kerosene and fuel to boost...
Blazes roar an oven within
even smoke swirled a darkness in
no chimney out
no exhaust spout
holding inside the words I hide
And then....
Then they were lost
Lost to burnt out ashes...
Much as I try
but pressures out cry
tomorrow brings more
to a bursting balloon
exploding just about soon...
....
Sigh... I'd really wonder sometimes though, when can I just learn to say 'yes' even if it was with uncertainty?
Even if it was just all empty? Just to save the moment and think about beyond later....
The problem is, now....I can't seem to do so...
practical sanity hits...
I just need to set the plans right...
Need to see past the toils and troubles
To work what I've aimed for...
It's coming....soon it's coming...
forget what is boiling...
at work or with gambling crazed relations
neither with attitude I never saw reasons for....
just bad days...some days where you even try will not bring a plus...
gratitude not shown...warm embrace all kept...
I'll just need back a day or two to find...
find myself and put all behind
Coz the tomorrow I see
is the work of future I'll be
Bringing 2 or 3 or maybe 4 folds to bank my monthly bucks....
To work to think and to bring....I will...
Away with the depressing heart...
Monday, December 22, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Frustrated
Seems like a zillion years since I last blogged something...
Somehow a sudden frustration seem to build up...
With issues of people who gamble and now in need of cash come knocking on the doors...
They seem to make it our problem when they are in trouble and try to send us on a guilt trip for
not helping if they threaten to take a dive.
My number one rule...invest, don't gamble...
It's a darn stupid thing when even the experts who go into the market and yet make a big lost,
while the idiots who know next to nothing about what economics and shares are all about,
start to freaking go in to try their luck. After losing a sum, it's a double or nothing game.
What in the world are they thinking?
Now everyone around these sickening block heads who never seem to wanna get out of the shithole
are basically implicated into their problem, some emotionally weaker ones are traumatized by the whole
"I think I wanna jump" kinda attitude which might jolly well be an act at the end of the freaking day.
Like my late grandpa used to say in cantonese...to gamblers ... "To win, it's your take, to lose, it's our problem"
"Don't ever be the borrower nor the lender...either ways, it's a losing end"
Quite true because when you lend to these gambling freaks, you can simply forget about the take back.
It's a cold hard world in the minds of these madness people. Argh....it's getting on my nerves!
I finally completed a whole list of catalogs that has to be customized for the use by the company...
All works of Adobe Photoshop and my finger clicking...
Totally time consuming, eye straining and alot of writing and through on the design and structure put into it.
I think there must be a point in time where I have to simply make it like I take a higher cut for my pay to do these
kind of stuff and in addition to all my managerial/technical design engineer work...
The truth is....I'm really darn tired these days...
From days of my insomnia to the days now that I'm so hard up for sleep.
Yet on the other hand, I'm trying to get my other commodities going through trials and tests by the management of my
target customers, and planning the other routes to hit at once the less innovative suckers start to copy.
It's like everyday seems to be a day where I cannot simply let free my mind...
Think one way is to just try to see how I can get my back fixed and at least I can get back into running....where the few moments would be all about finishing the distance and every breath that I take....Nothing else....
Sigh....such a big sweep of issues for the start of december....
Even my dearest one has got some issues to 'chat' with me about but yet cannot be now and anytime earlier....has to be 3
sucky days later. God knows what in the world the agenda is gona be and why does it even have to be like 3 darn days later...
So that I won't lose my freaking mind at work? or so that I won't trash around for answers consistently through the rest of
the week? Well I think either ways...I'm already losing my freaking mind with the sickening suspense and the wanting
to know what in the world is it all about.
It's not like there is no way to control that between two people....
It's not like it cannot be said earlier....
It's not like there isn't any main agenda and reason to the whole 'chat'...
So why put me through this whole thing? It's cruelty... and I jolly well hate it because
it's not like I don't give a shit....
it's not like I don't open up to know
it's not like I'm not openly willing to listen....
I can't stand uncertainty...
I can't stand what I don't know...
Ever thought why I do anything, everything and try even if it's going to burn the hell out of me?
Because I want to experience it and see how to better the system and be able to deal with many things....well as much as possible.
Maybe it all wasn't thought of before putting me through this mental wait and torment...
truly it's the most painful thing that one (those who mean something to me) can put me through....by not being direct...
and beating about the bush....
ARgh!!!
I'm raging!!!
RAGING FIRE!
Somehow a sudden frustration seem to build up...
With issues of people who gamble and now in need of cash come knocking on the doors...
They seem to make it our problem when they are in trouble and try to send us on a guilt trip for
not helping if they threaten to take a dive.
My number one rule...invest, don't gamble...
It's a darn stupid thing when even the experts who go into the market and yet make a big lost,
while the idiots who know next to nothing about what economics and shares are all about,
start to freaking go in to try their luck. After losing a sum, it's a double or nothing game.
What in the world are they thinking?
Now everyone around these sickening block heads who never seem to wanna get out of the shithole
are basically implicated into their problem, some emotionally weaker ones are traumatized by the whole
"I think I wanna jump" kinda attitude which might jolly well be an act at the end of the freaking day.
Like my late grandpa used to say in cantonese...to gamblers ... "To win, it's your take, to lose, it's our problem"
"Don't ever be the borrower nor the lender...either ways, it's a losing end"
Quite true because when you lend to these gambling freaks, you can simply forget about the take back.
It's a cold hard world in the minds of these madness people. Argh....it's getting on my nerves!
I finally completed a whole list of catalogs that has to be customized for the use by the company...
All works of Adobe Photoshop and my finger clicking...
Totally time consuming, eye straining and alot of writing and through on the design and structure put into it.
I think there must be a point in time where I have to simply make it like I take a higher cut for my pay to do these
kind of stuff and in addition to all my managerial/technical design engineer work...
The truth is....I'm really darn tired these days...
From days of my insomnia to the days now that I'm so hard up for sleep.
Yet on the other hand, I'm trying to get my other commodities going through trials and tests by the management of my
target customers, and planning the other routes to hit at once the less innovative suckers start to copy.
It's like everyday seems to be a day where I cannot simply let free my mind...
Think one way is to just try to see how I can get my back fixed and at least I can get back into running....where the few moments would be all about finishing the distance and every breath that I take....Nothing else....
Sigh....such a big sweep of issues for the start of december....
Even my dearest one has got some issues to 'chat' with me about but yet cannot be now and anytime earlier....has to be 3
sucky days later. God knows what in the world the agenda is gona be and why does it even have to be like 3 darn days later...
So that I won't lose my freaking mind at work? or so that I won't trash around for answers consistently through the rest of
the week? Well I think either ways...I'm already losing my freaking mind with the sickening suspense and the wanting
to know what in the world is it all about.
It's not like there is no way to control that between two people....
It's not like it cannot be said earlier....
It's not like there isn't any main agenda and reason to the whole 'chat'...
So why put me through this whole thing? It's cruelty... and I jolly well hate it because
it's not like I don't give a shit....
it's not like I don't open up to know
it's not like I'm not openly willing to listen....
I can't stand uncertainty...
I can't stand what I don't know...
Ever thought why I do anything, everything and try even if it's going to burn the hell out of me?
Because I want to experience it and see how to better the system and be able to deal with many things....well as much as possible.
Maybe it all wasn't thought of before putting me through this mental wait and torment...
truly it's the most painful thing that one (those who mean something to me) can put me through....by not being direct...
and beating about the bush....
ARgh!!!
I'm raging!!!
RAGING FIRE!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Have been kinda tired out lately...
influx of things to get done...
Targets to meet...well personal targets for survival that is...
And it seems like I'm always seeing my darn SAF100 facing me every 6mths....it's either
facing the camp or the darn letter.
Feels like it's so soon!
Need a break....need alittle break...
Well of course not my back....
for that, I'll need a crack for relief...
I think the coming marathon will be a problem.
Oh well....just try and see how it goes...just don't say die!
:p
influx of things to get done...
Targets to meet...well personal targets for survival that is...
And it seems like I'm always seeing my darn SAF100 facing me every 6mths....it's either
facing the camp or the darn letter.
Feels like it's so soon!
Need a break....need alittle break...
Well of course not my back....
for that, I'll need a crack for relief...
I think the coming marathon will be a problem.
Oh well....just try and see how it goes...just don't say die!
:p
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
It's been quite awhile since I last entered anything....
busy lately. Helping Jacelyn with her project write ups after write ups. Totally at the brim with all the things to think about.
I'm currently restructuring my company's website, which is really horrid. It's one of the lousiest website I've ever seen.
Can't imagine they even paid for it! Being asked to build their industrial division, considering the fact that I'm the only one
in the company who knows what in the world is going on with all those equipments and industrial pumps and blowers.
The potentials of them all are basically assessed by me and of coz...the man says he is too, but then again...he knows just abit.
Hardly enough to design anything at all.
Can't imagine a person who simply knows that a pump is something that sucks and pushes water and a blower is something that sucks and pushes air can even sell such industrial parts for few years. From what I know, it's probably just selling what people want. But what people asks of a possibility....rarely gets any returns for answers. I know that for sure. ONE BIG practice is,
"ACT BLUR" or "RUN AWAY FROM CALLS". superb experts. funny how things even lasted that long.
Sigh.....sad case...
Well anyway, after 1 whole year....after that turning point where they made a hoohaa over me 'over paying 2 workers' when I've actually budgeted in the entire costing for a servicing business which actually earned them a net profit of at least $900~$1k in 3.5hrs to 4hrs max....
my research works are finally done and I'm beginning to get prepared on the creation of my new proprietorship...
But an online one...dealing with a niche area and in someways....modification of machines yet coming up with alternatives to counter the need of any machines....confusing huh....well...hahaha, that's the interesting part to it all.
The concept lies in this ideology....
selling stamps and increasing its cost is easier than making people buy their own transport to delivery their mails even when the costs always remain the same....which is then again, totally not possible in economic terms.
Simple? well it sure is. dwell in this alittle and you will see the light in one way or another.
Really exciting....these few months...will be a hellova time! Seriously.
cheers!
busy lately. Helping Jacelyn with her project write ups after write ups. Totally at the brim with all the things to think about.
I'm currently restructuring my company's website, which is really horrid. It's one of the lousiest website I've ever seen.
Can't imagine they even paid for it! Being asked to build their industrial division, considering the fact that I'm the only one
in the company who knows what in the world is going on with all those equipments and industrial pumps and blowers.
The potentials of them all are basically assessed by me and of coz...the man says he is too, but then again...he knows just abit.
Hardly enough to design anything at all.
Can't imagine a person who simply knows that a pump is something that sucks and pushes water and a blower is something that sucks and pushes air can even sell such industrial parts for few years. From what I know, it's probably just selling what people want. But what people asks of a possibility....rarely gets any returns for answers. I know that for sure. ONE BIG practice is,
"ACT BLUR" or "RUN AWAY FROM CALLS". superb experts. funny how things even lasted that long.
Sigh.....sad case...
Well anyway, after 1 whole year....after that turning point where they made a hoohaa over me 'over paying 2 workers' when I've actually budgeted in the entire costing for a servicing business which actually earned them a net profit of at least $900~$1k in 3.5hrs to 4hrs max....
my research works are finally done and I'm beginning to get prepared on the creation of my new proprietorship...
But an online one...dealing with a niche area and in someways....modification of machines yet coming up with alternatives to counter the need of any machines....confusing huh....well...hahaha, that's the interesting part to it all.
The concept lies in this ideology....
selling stamps and increasing its cost is easier than making people buy their own transport to delivery their mails even when the costs always remain the same....which is then again, totally not possible in economic terms.
Simple? well it sure is. dwell in this alittle and you will see the light in one way or another.
Really exciting....these few months...will be a hellova time! Seriously.
cheers!
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
I guess it's been real long since I last added something here...
Super busy lately...thinking for my own biz future and getting this prep up before I leave for USA.
Anyway, now I'm in USA...
Super long flight!
It was about 24hrs...hmm actually more...
Singapore-Narita Tokyo-San Francisco-New York JFK
So sickening...felt like ping pong ball being thrown from plane to plane...
Yet you can't really sleep because you have to keep changing flights.
Oh well....checked into New Yorker Hotel Ramada... isn't some 5 star hotel but it's a good
executive business hotel in the heart of Manhattan with just a walk to Madison Gardens and Time Square...
And of course, just beside Empire State Building...
Later I go see if can find the remains of King Kong's pubic hair lying around the side brick walls of the building
as he climbed...hehe...
But the cab fair here...it's freaking no joke at all! USD$160 just to get from JFK airport to Manhattan...damn madness!
Oh well...it's 2.29am in the morning here on the 2nd of sept...time to turn in and wake up at 9 to get the Saugerties towards
Rhinecliff via the Amtrak Subway...another 2hr ride away...crazy.
Super busy lately...thinking for my own biz future and getting this prep up before I leave for USA.
Anyway, now I'm in USA...
Super long flight!
It was about 24hrs...hmm actually more...
Singapore-Narita Tokyo-San Francisco-New York JFK
So sickening...felt like ping pong ball being thrown from plane to plane...
Yet you can't really sleep because you have to keep changing flights.
Oh well....checked into New Yorker Hotel Ramada... isn't some 5 star hotel but it's a good
executive business hotel in the heart of Manhattan with just a walk to Madison Gardens and Time Square...
And of course, just beside Empire State Building...
Later I go see if can find the remains of King Kong's pubic hair lying around the side brick walls of the building
as he climbed...hehe...
But the cab fair here...it's freaking no joke at all! USD$160 just to get from JFK airport to Manhattan...damn madness!
Oh well...it's 2.29am in the morning here on the 2nd of sept...time to turn in and wake up at 9 to get the Saugerties towards
Rhinecliff via the Amtrak Subway...another 2hr ride away...crazy.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Without risk, U R Undefeatable, but without risk, there is no victory
In times like this...
I just have to find something that is real reachable,
long term and stable...
But that takes alot of research.
So tiring... :p
Title for today; the very saying that I live by.
For these few days, I've recovered back some investment capital and should be on
for the profits soon.
I think I'll churn them into my soon to fire website biz...
yet again, there are so much corners to cover in that area and to step very carefully
on the 'danger waters'.
However, I think it's worth it, because if all things go through, the time and money spent researching
and testings to develop a product of my own would be all worth it...
Imagine creating a niche product of my own....hmmmm....well
making it into reality soon!
Have to also think of packing them and stuff like that, so that for the simple non-costly item
brings much better value...
:)
A new week to go! lots to work on!
I just have to find something that is real reachable,
long term and stable...
But that takes alot of research.
So tiring... :p
Title for today; the very saying that I live by.
For these few days, I've recovered back some investment capital and should be on
for the profits soon.
I think I'll churn them into my soon to fire website biz...
yet again, there are so much corners to cover in that area and to step very carefully
on the 'danger waters'.
However, I think it's worth it, because if all things go through, the time and money spent researching
and testings to develop a product of my own would be all worth it...
Imagine creating a niche product of my own....hmmmm....well
making it into reality soon!
Have to also think of packing them and stuff like that, so that for the simple non-costly item
brings much better value...
:)
A new week to go! lots to work on!
Friday, July 18, 2008
2 Long hard weeks...
many many missions
much more tormenting mental challenge put in...
finally, it's been all cleared off well.
CO made great comments about me being someone very dependable
and really know my stuff well...
but really? do I?
Don't really think so....maybe I just have the acquired skill of making a good
smoke screen.
Well maybe I'm just one person who can't really register whatever that is not practical to me....
probably certain things doesn't make operational sense to me...but still...
if people want to hear it...I just give it....and there...
I piece the entire load worth of smoke into the brief and planning
having all present think I was jack shit good with the whole understanding....
but....erhmm...it was my 3 'C' tact...but good... :p
I guess on the overall, I just enjoyed out field where time passed faster and having to work
on practical missions to take my mind off time that I couldn't be with jacelyn.
There were some times when I couldn't even make contact with her to have a chat...
now that was not too nice...
Really felt uneasy. I simply can't imagine myself as a regular in the arm forces...
I'd probably go crazy.
Anyway...it's the end of yet another training phase...and I just really want to see my sweetheart soon.
Pity I can't see her today with her arrangements made with her sec sch friend....
but understood...it's been a long time for the frenz to meet so....let it be.
I just hope tomorrow is good and the day after...
I just miss her so much...
many many missions
much more tormenting mental challenge put in...
finally, it's been all cleared off well.
CO made great comments about me being someone very dependable
and really know my stuff well...
but really? do I?
Don't really think so....maybe I just have the acquired skill of making a good
smoke screen.
Well maybe I'm just one person who can't really register whatever that is not practical to me....
probably certain things doesn't make operational sense to me...but still...
if people want to hear it...I just give it....and there...
I piece the entire load worth of smoke into the brief and planning
having all present think I was jack shit good with the whole understanding....
but....erhmm...it was my 3 'C' tact...but good... :p
I guess on the overall, I just enjoyed out field where time passed faster and having to work
on practical missions to take my mind off time that I couldn't be with jacelyn.
There were some times when I couldn't even make contact with her to have a chat...
now that was not too nice...
Really felt uneasy. I simply can't imagine myself as a regular in the arm forces...
I'd probably go crazy.
Anyway...it's the end of yet another training phase...and I just really want to see my sweetheart soon.
Pity I can't see her today with her arrangements made with her sec sch friend....
but understood...it's been a long time for the frenz to meet so....let it be.
I just hope tomorrow is good and the day after...
I just miss her so much...
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Ok after tonite and a day of tomorrow...
I'll be off to green land...
2 weeks of hardcore reservist training.
Just found out this term's mission...
It so doesn't seem too fine. Live on Red bull? Having it fill my blood streams to take it all?
Well we'll see..
But tonight's dinner was great. Well I felt it was great.
No matter what...ambience, service quality, food type and exclusiveness in a change of taste...
all to the top.
Of course ah....the bill was also to the top.
But I reckon it was worth it... really hope Jacelyn and her mum really enjoyed themselves with the 2 time
display of Fire works from the national day practice...
Romantic atmosphere with a touch of first time live experience for her mum from the way I see it...
but it was a good feeling.
Having good food for the 14 days of combat crap food I've to take down...Ewww... totally not for human. :p
So what if they specially prepare some for officers... I hate army food anyway. hahaha....
Oh well...
I'm really gona miss my darling while I'm in there...
like I'm gona burst out of the camp any time just to give her a hug and a kiss to make my day.
Aiyah but will survive wan lah... Hohohoo...
I'll be off to green land...
2 weeks of hardcore reservist training.
Just found out this term's mission...
It so doesn't seem too fine. Live on Red bull? Having it fill my blood streams to take it all?
Well we'll see..
But tonight's dinner was great. Well I felt it was great.
No matter what...ambience, service quality, food type and exclusiveness in a change of taste...
all to the top.
Of course ah....the bill was also to the top.
But I reckon it was worth it... really hope Jacelyn and her mum really enjoyed themselves with the 2 time
display of Fire works from the national day practice...
Romantic atmosphere with a touch of first time live experience for her mum from the way I see it...
but it was a good feeling.
Having good food for the 14 days of combat crap food I've to take down...Ewww... totally not for human. :p
So what if they specially prepare some for officers... I hate army food anyway. hahaha....
Oh well...
I'm really gona miss my darling while I'm in there...
like I'm gona burst out of the camp any time just to give her a hug and a kiss to make my day.
Aiyah but will survive wan lah... Hohohoo...
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
A build up of frustration was overwhelming, but strangely it was difficult to just describe it in words at that very moment.
It was boiling and hard to tell.... how could it be that my dear would've known?....
Maybe it was just purely a miscomm somewhere or a lack of communication on that matter...
Goes the same when she was feeling so.
But anyhow, most importantly, we both learnt something and how to deal with somethings with regards to the both of us.
I guess....I should just learn how to deal with the way Jacelyn sees things to be.
It was boiling and hard to tell.... how could it be that my dear would've known?....
Maybe it was just purely a miscomm somewhere or a lack of communication on that matter...
Goes the same when she was feeling so.
But anyhow, most importantly, we both learnt something and how to deal with somethings with regards to the both of us.
I guess....I should just learn how to deal with the way Jacelyn sees things to be.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Walk with me...
Walk with me this trying road
Walk with me through hills with load
Walk with me the storms beyond
Walk with me through brightness and torn
Walk with me this life...
Journey with me as my sweet darling ****...
:p
Walk with me through hills with load
Walk with me the storms beyond
Walk with me through brightness and torn
Walk with me this life...
Journey with me as my sweet darling ****...
:p
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Sense & Sensitivity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The motion of senses arises
issues of sensitivity hovers in notion
where and how would it be the crossing line of
being understanding and being a possessive jerk...
sometimes it can come to a point of wonder...
To bother or not to bother?
Probably the point of not bothering is what they call
"no go zone" where in windsurfing, once you've crossed
the line, you tend to be stranded and not being able to get back to motion.
I was once asked "Am I just being too nonchalant about how others feel?"
Well I was left unable to really answer that to the point.
Basically, it's very much based on a variety of perspectives.
Well most of the time it's very much about how 2 parties view the issues to be.
But in any case, understanding is the main header to solve the problems of both worlds.
And yet, to finally attain that position, at least some assistance from across to help see the reasons
would be most helpful to show some care in making ends meet and to have a tie down.
Well of course I do get questions on "why are you so insensitive?"
Sometimes it's a speech that I'd deliberately make to hit my point in something, and only the lease of times
if things happened to be not very much in proper place, my mind is messed up for the moments and having
a wave of glitches.
I just live by the saying that "To lay your heart and mind with one who can hurt you most, is trusting that one won't"
Keeping that in view...
I guess, I'm much happier.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Day started in some gloom, I don't know what but yes there are dark clouds hovering the 3rd floor of my office building.
With this person get scolding and that person get shouted at...
And I walked in with a very stern and firm look, after some initial calling blast for my name, silence set in.
They were anticipating on what I was about to say...
But I just left a folio on the table and walked off, now that moment is simple being nonchalant about who thinks what...
I just glided off the owner table without more than 5 words "I've nothing to report" even though I actually do, but I was just
not interested somehow.
That is especially after knowing, in my return to office this morning, there were many things that I've done and have been overwritten. Decisions that I've set and plannings that I've scheduled for the day retimed and to only be informed as I'm thinking of setting off....
What kinda shit practice is this?
I'm seriously raging today...my mood really isn't good...really....
Some body cool me down...please...?
Think for the moment I need some soothing... :p
To take me away from this sense of feeling crappy for the day....
The motion of senses arises
issues of sensitivity hovers in notion
where and how would it be the crossing line of
being understanding and being a possessive jerk...
sometimes it can come to a point of wonder...
To bother or not to bother?
Probably the point of not bothering is what they call
"no go zone" where in windsurfing, once you've crossed
the line, you tend to be stranded and not being able to get back to motion.
I was once asked "Am I just being too nonchalant about how others feel?"
Well I was left unable to really answer that to the point.
Basically, it's very much based on a variety of perspectives.
Well most of the time it's very much about how 2 parties view the issues to be.
But in any case, understanding is the main header to solve the problems of both worlds.
And yet, to finally attain that position, at least some assistance from across to help see the reasons
would be most helpful to show some care in making ends meet and to have a tie down.
Well of course I do get questions on "why are you so insensitive?"
Sometimes it's a speech that I'd deliberately make to hit my point in something, and only the lease of times
if things happened to be not very much in proper place, my mind is messed up for the moments and having
a wave of glitches.
I just live by the saying that "To lay your heart and mind with one who can hurt you most, is trusting that one won't"
Keeping that in view...
I guess, I'm much happier.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Day started in some gloom, I don't know what but yes there are dark clouds hovering the 3rd floor of my office building.
With this person get scolding and that person get shouted at...
And I walked in with a very stern and firm look, after some initial calling blast for my name, silence set in.
They were anticipating on what I was about to say...
But I just left a folio on the table and walked off, now that moment is simple being nonchalant about who thinks what...
I just glided off the owner table without more than 5 words "I've nothing to report" even though I actually do, but I was just
not interested somehow.
That is especially after knowing, in my return to office this morning, there were many things that I've done and have been overwritten. Decisions that I've set and plannings that I've scheduled for the day retimed and to only be informed as I'm thinking of setting off....
What kinda shit practice is this?
I'm seriously raging today...my mood really isn't good...really....
Some body cool me down...please...?
Think for the moment I need some soothing... :p
To take me away from this sense of feeling crappy for the day....
Monday, June 23, 2008
As I spent the moments lying down...
having a horrid back pain....I was thinking..
If I may start of a viable business that doesn't require much capital...and yet makes off hand extra cash...
hmmm....sounds good right?
coz I think for now...
my words may not say...
but slowly my mood tells of slight depressed feelings here and there...
somehow... I need a good change.
For my future and for the future of the love of my life...
I need to change to reach for more...
I need more.
Seriously...
The little quietness...
my mind goes into thought....
the plan of 5 years down the road is beginning once again...
I've gotten this far, I want to go further...
so far...I think, I'll hit my mark...I still see it...and I will want it.
Hmmmm....
but for the while...I'll just flow down into a comforting confidence 'sofa' to just ease myself alittle...
and release the frustration and depression....
and then I'll spring back up....
I'm just tired.
having a horrid back pain....I was thinking..
If I may start of a viable business that doesn't require much capital...and yet makes off hand extra cash...
hmmm....sounds good right?
coz I think for now...
my words may not say...
but slowly my mood tells of slight depressed feelings here and there...
somehow... I need a good change.
For my future and for the future of the love of my life...
I need to change to reach for more...
I need more.
Seriously...
The little quietness...
my mind goes into thought....
the plan of 5 years down the road is beginning once again...
I've gotten this far, I want to go further...
so far...I think, I'll hit my mark...I still see it...and I will want it.
Hmmmm....
but for the while...I'll just flow down into a comforting confidence 'sofa' to just ease myself alittle...
and release the frustration and depression....
and then I'll spring back up....
I'm just tired.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Ok now...alittle update for the while...
Just came back from my so so nice holiday, but obviously not enough...
It was simply fabulous. Even left my soul there when I returned to Narita, Tokyo and then Singapore.
I think everyday Jacelyn and I was like eating and eating non-stop!
Ice-cream almost everyday, from the normal creamy hokkaido ice-cream to the one with
lavender fragrance and then to the 5 level ice-cream.... putting on the extra in case anyone puncture a tire already...
:p
Every stop over I was bringing in food and more food into the bus....totally loaded with food, snacks and puffs....cream puffs...
Basically every meal there was sashimi and raw goodies...but of course, the premium stuff....
I freaking paid through my nose....imagine an almost SGD$280 for some basket of hand picked live seafood!
The alaskan king crab, big scallops, sea urchin, orange prawns, abalone...all live and swimming and there the
monstrous me making a fresh meal out of them....erhmm.....raw deal!
And the next buster was the A grade Kobe Beef that melts in your mouth when you first bite it...SGD$100+ per 200gm
Shit that's all madness...but oh well, not like you get that in Singapore with the best and top grade whacky skill
of preparing those good stuff....
The weather in Hokkaido was apparently damn good for me...but damn cold for Jace already.
Lowest of 9 degrees and the highest of 22 degrees....it's like about the aircon of my own office room...
about 16 degrees...shiok! hahaa...but I was the only idiot walking around in berms and a polo-T most of the time
with a shivering darling by my side and just trying to keep her warm with my jacket.
Oh yes....and the hot spring....it was great too...but it just got my hotter...and I was simply perspiring in the cold
with just a single layer T-shirt having a stroll outside...
better still, standing by the lake and awaiting for the 15mins of firing fire works in the dark evening...
Romantic huh...hahaha...
Ahhh...the shopping...not really my great thing, but seeing my darlin' just swifting around looking for her birthday present...
and totally enjoying it was a sight! Trying on all the bags she grabs hold...the clothes that were in the burberry store,
simply....awwww....well...good. Nice feeling to have her find something she really likes and just pay for it, instead of guessing
it through and ending up with something hmmm.... not so wanted at the end of the day.
And now...just trying to put together and sort out the 700+ photos we took on the trip....
wah totally headache this one is....hahahaa...but yet still, it's fun.
hahaha :p
Now...where to next?....hmmmmm......
Just came back from my so so nice holiday, but obviously not enough...
It was simply fabulous. Even left my soul there when I returned to Narita, Tokyo and then Singapore.
I think everyday Jacelyn and I was like eating and eating non-stop!
Ice-cream almost everyday, from the normal creamy hokkaido ice-cream to the one with
lavender fragrance and then to the 5 level ice-cream.... putting on the extra in case anyone puncture a tire already...
:p
Every stop over I was bringing in food and more food into the bus....totally loaded with food, snacks and puffs....cream puffs...
Basically every meal there was sashimi and raw goodies...but of course, the premium stuff....
I freaking paid through my nose....imagine an almost SGD$280 for some basket of hand picked live seafood!
The alaskan king crab, big scallops, sea urchin, orange prawns, abalone...all live and swimming and there the
monstrous me making a fresh meal out of them....erhmm.....raw deal!
And the next buster was the A grade Kobe Beef that melts in your mouth when you first bite it...SGD$100+ per 200gm
Shit that's all madness...but oh well, not like you get that in Singapore with the best and top grade whacky skill
of preparing those good stuff....
The weather in Hokkaido was apparently damn good for me...but damn cold for Jace already.
Lowest of 9 degrees and the highest of 22 degrees....it's like about the aircon of my own office room...
about 16 degrees...shiok! hahaa...but I was the only idiot walking around in berms and a polo-T most of the time
with a shivering darling by my side and just trying to keep her warm with my jacket.
Oh yes....and the hot spring....it was great too...but it just got my hotter...and I was simply perspiring in the cold
with just a single layer T-shirt having a stroll outside...
better still, standing by the lake and awaiting for the 15mins of firing fire works in the dark evening...
Romantic huh...hahaha...
Ahhh...the shopping...not really my great thing, but seeing my darlin' just swifting around looking for her birthday present...
and totally enjoying it was a sight! Trying on all the bags she grabs hold...the clothes that were in the burberry store,
simply....awwww....well...good. Nice feeling to have her find something she really likes and just pay for it, instead of guessing
it through and ending up with something hmmm.... not so wanted at the end of the day.
And now...just trying to put together and sort out the 700+ photos we took on the trip....
wah totally headache this one is....hahahaa...but yet still, it's fun.
hahaha :p
Now...where to next?....hmmmmm......
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Sunday, June 08, 2008
For the moment... I think I'm just sitting by feeling depressed...
What about?...probably many things in mind.
My character...--> to find something, to define something and to know something...
I think sometimes it's really hard to be just perfect...
Especially when you feel that you're taken for granted.
Then the question comes..."Why is it like that?"
"So how does the great one up there play a part in this?"
Well, Really, I don't know...
like a game...
Life it is...
You give your best,
You try your best...
But the end seems like a dim tunnel...
Even when there is so much heart...
So much soul placed into everything...
you find that there isn't much that comes from it...
Try not to bother too much?
Try not to care too much?
Just be the irresponsible jerk and be selfish?
Just be nonchalant on time priority?
Well...I could, but yet I can't...
The irony of life it is...
Like a stage play I'd want a break from for the moment, but yet somehow I find that I can't...
Maybe it's true...
I'm meant to be lonewolf...
on the roam in this world...
Maybe...as it was said to me before...
Sigh...
What about?...probably many things in mind.
My character...--> to find something, to define something and to know something...
I think sometimes it's really hard to be just perfect...
Especially when you feel that you're taken for granted.
Then the question comes..."Why is it like that?"
"So how does the great one up there play a part in this?"
Well, Really, I don't know...
like a game...
Life it is...
You give your best,
You try your best...
But the end seems like a dim tunnel...
Even when there is so much heart...
So much soul placed into everything...
you find that there isn't much that comes from it...
Try not to bother too much?
Try not to care too much?
Just be the irresponsible jerk and be selfish?
Just be nonchalant on time priority?
Well...I could, but yet I can't...
The irony of life it is...
Like a stage play I'd want a break from for the moment, but yet somehow I find that I can't...
Maybe it's true...
I'm meant to be lonewolf...
on the roam in this world...
Maybe...as it was said to me before...
Sigh...
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Sometimes... in the midst of the rushes
the turmoil of piling issues dragging you for attention...
priority of things in your life comes into play...
And here...I see...
at a different point in life...
various things takes on a different level positioning in you
and in place, they affect you emotionally
Well...maybe, that's what that is happening to me....
somehow...
certain things...I'm starting to really consider the options...
and for others, I might just feel the pinch about being buried
by the mindful things that come with it...
But anyway.....I think sometimes too...I need someone to tell me
what to do and where to go...
be blinded for awhile....just a little while...
the turmoil of piling issues dragging you for attention...
priority of things in your life comes into play...
And here...I see...
at a different point in life...
various things takes on a different level positioning in you
and in place, they affect you emotionally
Well...maybe, that's what that is happening to me....
somehow...
certain things...I'm starting to really consider the options...
and for others, I might just feel the pinch about being buried
by the mindful things that come with it...
But anyway.....I think sometimes too...I need someone to tell me
what to do and where to go...
be blinded for awhile....just a little while...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
These days are like..
uncertainty of what's to come in the business world...
instability in every way...
I'm thinkin' hard...
should I shoot out my application of a new set of business?
Well...seems like it was a success in a restaurant's acceptance...
Think I will start moving on to spread it by steps.
Hitting at the shop owners now...
let people understand tech capabilities....
then comes the penetration...
and then the volumetric sales...
uncertainty of what's to come in the business world...
instability in every way...
I'm thinkin' hard...
should I shoot out my application of a new set of business?
Well...seems like it was a success in a restaurant's acceptance...
Think I will start moving on to spread it by steps.
Hitting at the shop owners now...
let people understand tech capabilities....
then comes the penetration...
and then the volumetric sales...
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Need time off....
Need time off...
Maybe my brain is simply thinking 24hrs straight that it churns around all matters.
Information everywhere clumps in a huge mixture of ideas, cautious thoughts, fears, trauma, creativity....etc...
all in a big pot of brain juice.
How to save myself? Or maybe I can't... :p
At times, to deal with fear is to prepare for the eventual, but yet psychologically, in preparation for it
possibly could bring one to start shutting off emotions and reach....
Nope...not good...not good at all...
Don't even want to go there, unless I'm forced by circumstances...
been there once...felt very heartless, emotionless...robotic and stone hearted....nope nope...
"Kenneth...just work on it at a different angle maybe...
And maybe, you'll find some answers...
Maybe you'll see what the deeply hidden feels, and so you understand the naked truth...
What isn't said, isn't non-existent...yet what's said is definitely existent...
A feel of heart thoughts, tone and body expression says a million"
-Says some voice during snoring hours...
Need time off...
Maybe my brain is simply thinking 24hrs straight that it churns around all matters.
Information everywhere clumps in a huge mixture of ideas, cautious thoughts, fears, trauma, creativity....etc...
all in a big pot of brain juice.
How to save myself? Or maybe I can't... :p
At times, to deal with fear is to prepare for the eventual, but yet psychologically, in preparation for it
possibly could bring one to start shutting off emotions and reach....
Nope...not good...not good at all...
Don't even want to go there, unless I'm forced by circumstances...
been there once...felt very heartless, emotionless...robotic and stone hearted....nope nope...
"Kenneth...just work on it at a different angle maybe...
And maybe, you'll find some answers...
Maybe you'll see what the deeply hidden feels, and so you understand the naked truth...
What isn't said, isn't non-existent...yet what's said is definitely existent...
A feel of heart thoughts, tone and body expression says a million"
-Says some voice during snoring hours...
A disappointment of the day...
and ringing of the past my fears I say...
------------------------------
As positive I maybe, but yet somehow, in times where situations drew blood in
the heart, it's yet difficult to just hold on unshaken.
No matter how much one can give at different stages in life,
somehow, without a word...disaster struck.
Time and again...
time and again...
yet I hope it's not once again...
Seeing what happened to a friend, who held on to his love for a girl...
4 big years and hard support...
long term planning and much thoughts...
sacrifices being made...
yet all of a sudden, the lightning struck him with one of the most common reasons...
"I'm sorry, I don't think we go well together..."
Sometimes it is true that when girls say guys are bastards...
but yet how is it that I'm seeing very much of the other way round the situation?
And even as I love her so much...
yet I would always fear losing her..
I fight to keep.
just really hoping that big considerations have taken place
before making that decision of acception...
And as I'd wanna stay in content...
the content of the other unknown to me, might not be so...
Yet what can I do?...
Everyday I pray...
Everyday I hope...
history won't hit again...
One after another, have I not reflected enough to give what I've missed?
Have I not improved tolerance and attitude in handling matters?
I know one cannot give a fairytale many dream of
but I do know, what one can give is a fighter inside...
to keep things prolonging to the death of me...
the life force inside and the assurance of trust and strength...
but time and again when the rain comes to put out the fire...
it does need just alittle boost sometimes to fan strong the flame to keep it going...
Afterall... it shouldn't be just one sided right?...
I'm no fire generator...I still need the fuel somehow...
So what has my girls gotta say?
Some say they were sorry though it was the past...
Some say that they were naive then and didn't now what they wanted..
Some say that simply wanted to be spoiled and I couldn't keep doing that...
Some even said... "Why do you even have to long 10 steps ahead?"
Now that is the oddest thing I believe to have heard...
the irony of wanting to see the longest roads, and being asked not to...
yet when not seeing the longest roads, am being ask why aren't I doing so...
Some light here please...
Was told not to think too much...
but if she didn't matter to me...yes that would be possible...
but too bad for me I guess...she means alot to me...
I just had some rockin' day!
Argh!!!!!
and ringing of the past my fears I say...
------------------------------
As positive I maybe, but yet somehow, in times where situations drew blood in
the heart, it's yet difficult to just hold on unshaken.
No matter how much one can give at different stages in life,
somehow, without a word...disaster struck.
Time and again...
time and again...
yet I hope it's not once again...
Seeing what happened to a friend, who held on to his love for a girl...
4 big years and hard support...
long term planning and much thoughts...
sacrifices being made...
yet all of a sudden, the lightning struck him with one of the most common reasons...
"I'm sorry, I don't think we go well together..."
Sometimes it is true that when girls say guys are bastards...
but yet how is it that I'm seeing very much of the other way round the situation?
And even as I love her so much...
yet I would always fear losing her..
I fight to keep.
just really hoping that big considerations have taken place
before making that decision of acception...
And as I'd wanna stay in content...
the content of the other unknown to me, might not be so...
Yet what can I do?...
Everyday I pray...
Everyday I hope...
history won't hit again...
One after another, have I not reflected enough to give what I've missed?
Have I not improved tolerance and attitude in handling matters?
I know one cannot give a fairytale many dream of
but I do know, what one can give is a fighter inside...
to keep things prolonging to the death of me...
the life force inside and the assurance of trust and strength...
but time and again when the rain comes to put out the fire...
it does need just alittle boost sometimes to fan strong the flame to keep it going...
Afterall... it shouldn't be just one sided right?...
I'm no fire generator...I still need the fuel somehow...
So what has my girls gotta say?
Some say they were sorry though it was the past...
Some say that they were naive then and didn't now what they wanted..
Some say that simply wanted to be spoiled and I couldn't keep doing that...
Some even said... "Why do you even have to long 10 steps ahead?"
Now that is the oddest thing I believe to have heard...
the irony of wanting to see the longest roads, and being asked not to...
yet when not seeing the longest roads, am being ask why aren't I doing so...
Some light here please...
Was told not to think too much...
but if she didn't matter to me...yes that would be possible...
but too bad for me I guess...she means alot to me...
I just had some rockin' day!
Argh!!!!!
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Nice comforting days passing
but yet recessional stress is slowly en-caving...
bit by bit...
And yet I found ways to gradually overcome.
Somehow...I thought I'd be able to raise 24k in a month to somehow be able to just...
slap in some risk and hope to make double in profits...
crap...don't have that amount to play for now...
but anyway...
play abit more safe at the moment...
will find something to set my cash in and not having to bother...yet getting at least some returns.
Erhhmmm...but haven't found something right.
Still awaiting some funds to be released too...
Oh well...
I'm just waiting for this weekends to come and
monday the 12th too...
where I may find out something I've been awaiting to find out...
the little time will tell...
hope to see sunshine...
but yet recessional stress is slowly en-caving...
bit by bit...
And yet I found ways to gradually overcome.
Somehow...I thought I'd be able to raise 24k in a month to somehow be able to just...
slap in some risk and hope to make double in profits...
crap...don't have that amount to play for now...
but anyway...
play abit more safe at the moment...
will find something to set my cash in and not having to bother...yet getting at least some returns.
Erhhmmm...but haven't found something right.
Still awaiting some funds to be released too...
Oh well...
I'm just waiting for this weekends to come and
monday the 12th too...
where I may find out something I've been awaiting to find out...
the little time will tell...
hope to see sunshine...
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Sometimes there is a wonder...
if practicality is a good thing...
it causes conflicts between issues regarding sensitivity emotions and 'what's the straight thing to do' kinda mentality...
I might be blabbering crap alittle...but you know what I mean...
practicality saves the daily works...but yet could harm the sub-load of mental conflicts...
where sometimes you feel the adverse but yet gotta think against it because only it is the better thing to do...
or sometimes because it's the more practical thing to think of and react.
There will be one day I'll just one to let go and be one hellova bull...reasonable to only myself...
let lose in the wild and let the heat go...
conduct away the energy inside so as to lay at the end of that one very day... just simmered down and blank...
where reality will come back into line...
Just to cleanse the soul alittle... to let go of macho man shit and tear it out and over....
if practicality is a good thing...
it causes conflicts between issues regarding sensitivity emotions and 'what's the straight thing to do' kinda mentality...
I might be blabbering crap alittle...but you know what I mean...
practicality saves the daily works...but yet could harm the sub-load of mental conflicts...
where sometimes you feel the adverse but yet gotta think against it because only it is the better thing to do...
or sometimes because it's the more practical thing to think of and react.
There will be one day I'll just one to let go and be one hellova bull...reasonable to only myself...
let lose in the wild and let the heat go...
conduct away the energy inside so as to lay at the end of that one very day... just simmered down and blank...
where reality will come back into line...
Just to cleanse the soul alittle... to let go of macho man shit and tear it out and over....
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
How is it ever possible to have 2 offers in the same week?
One in the medical field and the other in oil and gas...
but what's the common factor?...
business...strategizing...market positioning...emerging markets...
All trying to dig that vigor in tapping the 3rd worlds...
the raw and dangerous lands...and untouched places...
formulation of niche possibilities...
And so I've been hearing...
"countries where politics matters at least as much as economics to the markets."
Now the weird thing is....
How the hell did they come to know of me even existing?
The Kenneth ain't that good stuff!...
So for the moment...I should stop having the digging through my head...
there isn't anything in there... dredging inside is a waste of time and effort...
well, for now...
My head is exhausted...I keep coming up with new things...now opportunities...
like a part is addicted to it, while the other is so so tired out...
Sweetie...we gotta just let lose real soon....in a month and a half time...
just let lose...
One in the medical field and the other in oil and gas...
but what's the common factor?...
business...strategizing...market positioning...emerging markets...
All trying to dig that vigor in tapping the 3rd worlds...
the raw and dangerous lands...and untouched places...
formulation of niche possibilities...
And so I've been hearing...
"countries where politics matters at least as much as economics to the markets."
Now the weird thing is....
How the hell did they come to know of me even existing?
The Kenneth ain't that good stuff!...
So for the moment...I should stop having the digging through my head...
there isn't anything in there... dredging inside is a waste of time and effort...
well, for now...
My head is exhausted...I keep coming up with new things...now opportunities...
like a part is addicted to it, while the other is so so tired out...
Sweetie...we gotta just let lose real soon....in a month and a half time...
just let lose...
Saturday, April 26, 2008
How is it that I reckon bitterness
For the mere assumption of elements
running against a hopeful forwarder...?
Like time, space, and heart...
Like resentment of opportunity lack
Like support a must to give tangible results
Like preaching a dive into the sea, needing
all the floatation around, but yet call it risk...
A total irony of being...I don't understand...
I guess, it's more telling me
that a state of a person holds ties only for beneficial foundations,
yet not the true meaning of ties worth holding...
Disappointing...
But why do I want to bother so much?
coz....I cared to bother...
yet it's pointless....
so is it left or is it right?
Answer= whatever...
For the mere assumption of elements
running against a hopeful forwarder...?
Like time, space, and heart...
Like resentment of opportunity lack
Like support a must to give tangible results
Like preaching a dive into the sea, needing
all the floatation around, but yet call it risk...
A total irony of being...I don't understand...
I guess, it's more telling me
that a state of a person holds ties only for beneficial foundations,
yet not the true meaning of ties worth holding...
Disappointing...
But why do I want to bother so much?
coz....I cared to bother...
yet it's pointless....
so is it left or is it right?
Answer= whatever...
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Nine fifty nine
a time off my nine to five...
And here I am working on case
many findings many numbers in my face
I look around, I just hear me...
I just see me and I guess it's just you and me...
body and shadow
two of one same thing...
my eyes are on for a close...
breathing gets harder
like I'm inhaling from a long winding hose...
Many things in hand
succeed it all depends...
time on stress
trying to speed work to my finest...
but here I am yet clueless on what's deeper I'm finding...
or maybe I'm just trying to shield off in knowing
that I don't know...
A thousand and one ways to show
A million forms to prove..
what's sincere
what's faithful
but tomorrow brings a surety
speedy fires, requiring me mindful...
And for a moment I feel numbness
on what's to come and my other dumbness...
But should things come...
let it come...
And in the dailies
the cycle goes on..
'til my hopeful day comes
my hand in handful
and the fuzzies my everyday living tool...
a time off my nine to five...
And here I am working on case
many findings many numbers in my face
I look around, I just hear me...
I just see me and I guess it's just you and me...
body and shadow
two of one same thing...
my eyes are on for a close...
breathing gets harder
like I'm inhaling from a long winding hose...
Many things in hand
succeed it all depends...
time on stress
trying to speed work to my finest...
but here I am yet clueless on what's deeper I'm finding...
or maybe I'm just trying to shield off in knowing
that I don't know...
A thousand and one ways to show
A million forms to prove..
what's sincere
what's faithful
but tomorrow brings a surety
speedy fires, requiring me mindful...
And for a moment I feel numbness
on what's to come and my other dumbness...
But should things come...
let it come...
And in the dailies
the cycle goes on..
'til my hopeful day comes
my hand in handful
and the fuzzies my everyday living tool...
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Within a circular confinement,
It's hard to look beyond the walls to seek refinement.
'coz inside the circle lies one's own world and where benefits seek
to come from those who hop in.
Isn't it how Mafia prosper in the days of the Godfather?
how one could seek only to be the light at the end of the tunnel
unknowing of the tunnel beyond lies more depth unknown.
Instead seek somewhere out of the zone of comfort to seek beyond self-righteousness...
cheers if it's attained.
It's hard to look beyond the walls to seek refinement.
'coz inside the circle lies one's own world and where benefits seek
to come from those who hop in.
Isn't it how Mafia prosper in the days of the Godfather?
how one could seek only to be the light at the end of the tunnel
unknowing of the tunnel beyond lies more depth unknown.
Instead seek somewhere out of the zone of comfort to seek beyond self-righteousness...
cheers if it's attained.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
At the corner of Scotts road
stands a very colonial hotel...
Been old since the day I saw light...
hahaaa....Goodwood Park...oh yeh..
Decided to take a dive into my month splurge on the tummy...
Oh this time was seemingly even higher than what Equinox gave in damages....
but it was sure satisfying....
Gordon Grill...
From my turning 4years old, this place has already been listed in Singapore's Best restaurants.
Very pleasant setting... just that dimmer lights make my sweet turn towards the alittle 'torpid' mode...
The cannot think mode that is...
While I simply after a rushy tough week just wanna excuse my brains for this while...
Just sit back and relax to the nice soft music and
gazing at her while we indulge in slow chats.
I found the trolley meat service concept rather unique...
especially when you think you wanna have a big bite for the day.... you too can choose.
Instead of being restricted to what's stated on the menu.
Service there was great too actually...really can excuse brains...except the hands and mouth...
compared to some countries where they call the "No hands" restaurant that my elder colleagues have been mentioning
to me. but nah...not interested and won't go to such 'lazy' places to eat and where standards of food are yet questionable.
Good....good evening went by...and now, the Weekends of workout and read ups on Operations management
will start, before I start going into hardcore web building once I get warmed up on the softwares again....
:p
Well...
have this good feeling at the end of the day... :) hehee...
only I know why.....
stands a very colonial hotel...
Been old since the day I saw light...
hahaaa....Goodwood Park...oh yeh..
Decided to take a dive into my month splurge on the tummy...
Oh this time was seemingly even higher than what Equinox gave in damages....
but it was sure satisfying....
Gordon Grill...
From my turning 4years old, this place has already been listed in Singapore's Best restaurants.
Very pleasant setting... just that dimmer lights make my sweet turn towards the alittle 'torpid' mode...
The cannot think mode that is...
While I simply after a rushy tough week just wanna excuse my brains for this while...
Just sit back and relax to the nice soft music and
gazing at her while we indulge in slow chats.
I found the trolley meat service concept rather unique...
especially when you think you wanna have a big bite for the day.... you too can choose.
Instead of being restricted to what's stated on the menu.
Service there was great too actually...really can excuse brains...except the hands and mouth...
compared to some countries where they call the "No hands" restaurant that my elder colleagues have been mentioning
to me. but nah...not interested and won't go to such 'lazy' places to eat and where standards of food are yet questionable.
Good....good evening went by...and now, the Weekends of workout and read ups on Operations management
will start, before I start going into hardcore web building once I get warmed up on the softwares again....
:p
Well...
have this good feeling at the end of the day... :) hehee...
only I know why.....
Thursday, April 17, 2008
And I woke up
all jaded mode...
like I did something terrible
and yet not knowing what...
it was just in pure sleep...
just in pure dream....
and so I hummm....
----------------
Have you heard...
Have you tried to understand?
It's alright..
It gets easier with time...
How are you?
Are you ever coming back
I have changed
And I've realized I wrong
I was wrong
Now I'll never see your face, anymore...
Oh my love,
I'd give anything for one more day with you...
all jaded mode...
like I did something terrible
and yet not knowing what...
it was just in pure sleep...
just in pure dream....
and so I hummm....
----------------
Have you heard...
Have you tried to understand?
It's alright..
It gets easier with time...
How are you?
Are you ever coming back
I have changed
And I've realized I wrong
I was wrong
Now I'll never see your face, anymore...
Oh my love,
I'd give anything for one more day with you...
Monday, April 14, 2008
It's been a real rushy rushy time these days...
With so many people to meet for some discussions...
So much to handle 'til my hands are over flowing...
If only my pocket is filled with the amount of cash of
equivalence to my workdone...
I'd probably be erhmmm....hmmm well...not yet a millionaire...
coz I probably would have already invested half of it in some new biz for it to show truth
in 6mths to a year...
but ok....anyway.... 'til the day comes....
'til the day comes...
With new business ideas coming up....
with fuel cell pushing its way into my head...
and with all the intel war games that I've to deal with in these weeks....
Tired...
With so many people to meet for some discussions...
So much to handle 'til my hands are over flowing...
If only my pocket is filled with the amount of cash of
equivalence to my workdone...
I'd probably be erhmmm....hmmm well...not yet a millionaire...
coz I probably would have already invested half of it in some new biz for it to show truth
in 6mths to a year...
but ok....anyway.... 'til the day comes....
'til the day comes...
With new business ideas coming up....
with fuel cell pushing its way into my head...
and with all the intel war games that I've to deal with in these weeks....
Tired...
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Sometimes I happen to sit and bitch about the days of my life...
all within my mind...
All in wonder why it isn't the way I hope for it to be.
Well I guess I ain't a road that you can really see a path that you're going.
I've humming the music of 'everlasting' and now I'm just on the verge of seeing that
as total bull crap.
a feeling of having given up on what I hope to be long term.
May be Buddhism might have some truth to what life is.
That nothing is forever.
Hmm...well maybe I know what's forever...
the rut that goes through.
Maybe even with my so broken body, I might just wanna go back into the sporting lifestyle...
No need to be the top optimist sportsman and live the kind of life I used to be 7 years ago
where it's all about I fast I go, how strong I become...
But rather just the free mind that I held inside.
going into the high seas and braving the storms...
Seems to me that the physical challenges threatening my life was easier to deal with
than the mental chore and the tiresome daily routine of bothering about everything.
When you can't not bother about it all.
Can't help but to worry and care for everything that's close within my place...
If one day I ever do....
I'd probably already dead.
Fortunately for blogs or online diaries...
where I throw my written vomit. :p
Fortunately for my trusty weights that have not failed me and seen me through all the pains
well and giving me the pains too....physical ones that is...
But I've yet to find a trusty dummy for me to just do my hard punches on....to let that high energy free
the heated energy...
Oh well...maybe giving up the macho shit....music itself can soothe the soul and once in awhile some tear
can just cleanse the soul inside...Only human.
Damn it...This very moment I need to tire the daylights out of me...
all within my mind...
All in wonder why it isn't the way I hope for it to be.
Well I guess I ain't a road that you can really see a path that you're going.
I've humming the music of 'everlasting' and now I'm just on the verge of seeing that
as total bull crap.
a feeling of having given up on what I hope to be long term.
May be Buddhism might have some truth to what life is.
That nothing is forever.
Hmm...well maybe I know what's forever...
the rut that goes through.
Maybe even with my so broken body, I might just wanna go back into the sporting lifestyle...
No need to be the top optimist sportsman and live the kind of life I used to be 7 years ago
where it's all about I fast I go, how strong I become...
But rather just the free mind that I held inside.
going into the high seas and braving the storms...
Seems to me that the physical challenges threatening my life was easier to deal with
than the mental chore and the tiresome daily routine of bothering about everything.
When you can't not bother about it all.
Can't help but to worry and care for everything that's close within my place...
If one day I ever do....
I'd probably already dead.
Fortunately for blogs or online diaries...
where I throw my written vomit. :p
Fortunately for my trusty weights that have not failed me and seen me through all the pains
well and giving me the pains too....physical ones that is...
But I've yet to find a trusty dummy for me to just do my hard punches on....to let that high energy free
the heated energy...
Oh well...maybe giving up the macho shit....music itself can soothe the soul and once in awhile some tear
can just cleanse the soul inside...Only human.
Damn it...This very moment I need to tire the daylights out of me...
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Weekend ending..
Weekend is coming to an end...
I think... it somehow has open my mind to some different perspectives...
Probably I've not yet really thought of. Maybe, just to keep myself away from feeling like shit.
Life should just be simpler right?
Wrong.
Life ain't that simple. And it just can't be what I'd love it to be and I guess I've to just be alittle robotic
and try to have myself alittle more hardy. Be it in anything at all..
But if I ever succeed in doing so, people will probably find me a total unfeeling person with no emotions
or whatsoever. So the question is...is it the preferred mode?...hmm... pros and cons now...
then again....Who could understand the shit being stirred?
I think I really need to vanish into the nothingness and just meditate...reflect alittle...
I with all my sincerity...
hate to be left in limbo...suddenly not knowing why in the crap I'm in a crossroad.
And somehow, I am seemingly placed in such a position that I'm just seated there in wonder.
Like, what I'm doing is always having tones behind that I've to look into....
which seems like a whole lot of issues that I've to clear up, taking half the amount of brain cells left in my head...
strategizing, foresight, calculations, decisions, problem solving, planning schemes and protections and
all the blah blah...though it's like a forte and I like doing but, as the saying goes..."too much of anything is no good"
And where am I going with doing all these? Maybe I need something that is structured in pathways while
now things seem rather bleak...which I totally not so much into the liking of.
Lost some in my investments 3 months ago and feeling the crunch just when I can't pull out of it, otherwise
everything else will come tumbling...I used to be able to come up with something that can turn me around
with a snap of my fingers....but why not now?....sigh...maybe I'm just having too much of my
half set of brain cells overloaded on...and I see it calls for some shifting very soon....in the works for that...
coz it's a must.
And the very thing that strengths me through days is still on a halfway house that I can't say much at the moment...
still seeing how things goes, and having to look at the fact that I can legally burn rubber on tar before knowing anything...
sometimes, I really keep asking myself the same old question why...but like I said...
it's like asking a question when I already know what's to come...
So better just keep my mouth shut.
right?.....right...
oh well...cheers! hava happy easter for those who are celebrating...
And tomorrow, I might just call in for leave... need to keep myself on the hook somewhere...
Just can't work like that...
sort things out is a must...I know I can do it....
erhmmm.....somehow...
I think... it somehow has open my mind to some different perspectives...
Probably I've not yet really thought of. Maybe, just to keep myself away from feeling like shit.
Life should just be simpler right?
Wrong.
Life ain't that simple. And it just can't be what I'd love it to be and I guess I've to just be alittle robotic
and try to have myself alittle more hardy. Be it in anything at all..
But if I ever succeed in doing so, people will probably find me a total unfeeling person with no emotions
or whatsoever. So the question is...is it the preferred mode?...hmm... pros and cons now...
then again....Who could understand the shit being stirred?
I think I really need to vanish into the nothingness and just meditate...reflect alittle...
I with all my sincerity...
hate to be left in limbo...suddenly not knowing why in the crap I'm in a crossroad.
And somehow, I am seemingly placed in such a position that I'm just seated there in wonder.
Like, what I'm doing is always having tones behind that I've to look into....
which seems like a whole lot of issues that I've to clear up, taking half the amount of brain cells left in my head...
strategizing, foresight, calculations, decisions, problem solving, planning schemes and protections and
all the blah blah...though it's like a forte and I like doing but, as the saying goes..."too much of anything is no good"
And where am I going with doing all these? Maybe I need something that is structured in pathways while
now things seem rather bleak...which I totally not so much into the liking of.
Lost some in my investments 3 months ago and feeling the crunch just when I can't pull out of it, otherwise
everything else will come tumbling...I used to be able to come up with something that can turn me around
with a snap of my fingers....but why not now?....sigh...maybe I'm just having too much of my
half set of brain cells overloaded on...and I see it calls for some shifting very soon....in the works for that...
coz it's a must.
And the very thing that strengths me through days is still on a halfway house that I can't say much at the moment...
still seeing how things goes, and having to look at the fact that I can legally burn rubber on tar before knowing anything...
sometimes, I really keep asking myself the same old question why...but like I said...
it's like asking a question when I already know what's to come...
So better just keep my mouth shut.
right?.....right...
oh well...cheers! hava happy easter for those who are celebrating...
And tomorrow, I might just call in for leave... need to keep myself on the hook somewhere...
Just can't work like that...
sort things out is a must...I know I can do it....
erhmmm.....somehow...
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Funny how I'd so simply just keep writing the whole day...
Be it on work, be it on thoughts and be it on feelings...
My hands are starting to just speak! what use becomes my mouth then? :p
yah crap...
Suddenly I'm feeling some burning sensation at the back of my mind...
just to fill up my adrenalin boiling blood.
Scare the wits off myself once again...
Maybe I'm just lacking of that in a while..or maybe I should say a long while.
Sometimes, being overly excited at one side of my life that is happening
might not just be a thing to do...
Then the talks of Yin and Yang will come rushing in and slap me in the face,
telling me it's all off balance.
No Kenneth...tell me, what's important in your life right now?
I constantly have my brains mumbling within itself...like it's a separate part of me.
Well, I guess I've got a few important things to me... and somehow, there is no
differentiation that I can come up with.
That's where monkhood can never come into reality in my life...
well maybe when I actually have given up on everything else...that
could just be yet the last option...
hmmm....nah....bullshit. It won't happen. Rather look at being some
long lost kungfu master hidden up in the mountains of the forgotten and
just simply live my life there myself...
where I breath the highest air, feel the coldest winds, see the darkest nights
yet the wondrous of stars and eat the grass that grow beneath my steps...
Well and just trying to forget what the hell went on 'til I came to such a point.
Oh well...just a thought though. That's when the world comes crashing on me
and I've got nobody behind me to keep my strength going...
That will be the day... or I could be simply lying in the hospital beds just staring into
the nothingness of the wall opposite me, or just the blankness of the other guy
lying, feeling just a crappy being in the hospital we both got ourselves into.
Oh anyway...
Like I said, when that time comes...the plans could've changed. Maybe the trends of being
the kungfu master or the lying in the hospital bed thing has already gone off beat in that social ring.
Now let me continue....
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
I dreamt vividly
oh yes most sincerely
words written with fire
across the grounds
that shows my desire...
Like a pitch black sky
with stars joint with symbolism
Of what can't be just blabbered...
Deep inside I held it
Held it oh so tight...
When the moment comes
I'd just show it
But....
Alas the moments keep changing
like a toy of my mind.
What's there to look for and decide on these days?
The wanting of doing so just let it fade...
not knowing when it should come yet again.
Sometimes it doesn't happen oh the pain...
and again and again you'd just hope things would be
and yet nothing you could see...
how then
I can't defend
the feelings deep inside
the very things I yet can't hide...
And then tonight I yet moved heavily...
Too like seeing a hefty 7 or more ahead...
But somehow,
no matter the strength
no matter the vision
no matter the wants...
I'm left breathless...
all in hope that a light-year crosses the path
and in a blink I feel nothing that has been hanging before
and be jolly for the next in step...
coz it's....
one
two
three
four
five...
all it's been so unkind
or maybe so...
it's a self pounding factor
that brought about that smashed
hmm oh yes the water ripples...
a reverse of power that hits with a thousand times harder...
But for now...
I just want a reason to believe....
And I'll find a way to see that it's all true...
As for now....it's just burning
so let it burn
so let it burn
burn into a speck of nothingness once again...
and tomorrow walks another day...
while now I sit with tear drop in my eye...
sometimes confused
sometimes in wonder
sometimes in ponder
but very in love....
My cocktail of flaming tequila!
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Be it on work, be it on thoughts and be it on feelings...
My hands are starting to just speak! what use becomes my mouth then? :p
yah crap...
Suddenly I'm feeling some burning sensation at the back of my mind...
just to fill up my adrenalin boiling blood.
Scare the wits off myself once again...
Maybe I'm just lacking of that in a while..or maybe I should say a long while.
Sometimes, being overly excited at one side of my life that is happening
might not just be a thing to do...
Then the talks of Yin and Yang will come rushing in and slap me in the face,
telling me it's all off balance.
No Kenneth...tell me, what's important in your life right now?
I constantly have my brains mumbling within itself...like it's a separate part of me.
Well, I guess I've got a few important things to me... and somehow, there is no
differentiation that I can come up with.
That's where monkhood can never come into reality in my life...
well maybe when I actually have given up on everything else...that
could just be yet the last option...
hmmm....nah....bullshit. It won't happen. Rather look at being some
long lost kungfu master hidden up in the mountains of the forgotten and
just simply live my life there myself...
where I breath the highest air, feel the coldest winds, see the darkest nights
yet the wondrous of stars and eat the grass that grow beneath my steps...
Well and just trying to forget what the hell went on 'til I came to such a point.
Oh well...just a thought though. That's when the world comes crashing on me
and I've got nobody behind me to keep my strength going...
That will be the day... or I could be simply lying in the hospital beds just staring into
the nothingness of the wall opposite me, or just the blankness of the other guy
lying, feeling just a crappy being in the hospital we both got ourselves into.
Oh anyway...
Like I said, when that time comes...the plans could've changed. Maybe the trends of being
the kungfu master or the lying in the hospital bed thing has already gone off beat in that social ring.
Now let me continue....
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
I dreamt vividly
oh yes most sincerely
words written with fire
across the grounds
that shows my desire...
Like a pitch black sky
with stars joint with symbolism
Of what can't be just blabbered...
Deep inside I held it
Held it oh so tight...
When the moment comes
I'd just show it
But....
Alas the moments keep changing
like a toy of my mind.
What's there to look for and decide on these days?
The wanting of doing so just let it fade...
not knowing when it should come yet again.
Sometimes it doesn't happen oh the pain...
and again and again you'd just hope things would be
and yet nothing you could see...
how then
I can't defend
the feelings deep inside
the very things I yet can't hide...
And then tonight I yet moved heavily...
Too like seeing a hefty 7 or more ahead...
But somehow,
no matter the strength
no matter the vision
no matter the wants...
I'm left breathless...
all in hope that a light-year crosses the path
and in a blink I feel nothing that has been hanging before
and be jolly for the next in step...
coz it's....
one
two
three
four
five...
all it's been so unkind
or maybe so...
it's a self pounding factor
that brought about that smashed
hmm oh yes the water ripples...
a reverse of power that hits with a thousand times harder...
But for now...
I just want a reason to believe....
And I'll find a way to see that it's all true...
As for now....it's just burning
so let it burn
so let it burn
burn into a speck of nothingness once again...
and tomorrow walks another day...
while now I sit with tear drop in my eye...
sometimes confused
sometimes in wonder
sometimes in ponder
but very in love....
My cocktail of flaming tequila!
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Saturday, March 15, 2008
And you find that sometimes...life simply moves in a blink...
Even the fast shutter speed catches nothing at the road burning 235km/h along the express way...
Now do you really think the speed tracking cameras are really that effective? :p
Think again...hohoho...
With high reflective night numberings and gloss enhanced finishing car surface and dark tint screens....
The only way is to track such a car in the day...otherwise, don't dream of it...when you see it...
I'll smoke you.
hahahaa...
In the moments I stare...
so blankly
wondering of what's to come tomorrow...
with some matters unclear
still smoldering in the smear...
all mixed up.
Where tomorrow lies bleak
And how the emotion shiver in uncertainty
feels hurting beyond the freezing cold...
The play of words
juggling in suspense
The moves of scorpion dance
where visions of the superficial
all with nothing of bricks and stones...
And I am left once again
at stare in total blankness of the moment...
so blankly
wondering of what's to come tomorrow...
with some matters unclear
still smoldering in the smear...
all mixed up.
Where tomorrow lies bleak
And how the emotion shiver in uncertainty
feels hurting beyond the freezing cold...
The play of words
juggling in suspense
The moves of scorpion dance
where visions of the superficial
all with nothing of bricks and stones...
And I am left once again
at stare in total blankness of the moment...
Just came back to Singapore from Sabah...
I guess I should say that it's been really mentally exhausting this reason...
So many things to solve and so much human problems to handle.
Sometimes I wonder why some management behave in a certain way...
Either penny wise pound foolish or "Wanting the buffalo to work with no adequate grass for filling"
Have been stressing to the old minds sometimes...Look at the bloody BIG picture!
There were many things I foresaw many months ago.
Like the directive we should be going into...
The new diversification we should spread our wings to...
The incentives we should offer...
many many more...
But there don't see it until times like now...
sigh...looks like the stupid army practice is still living...
"rushing to wait and wait to rush" mentality....
Anyway that's why this time round...
I shoot off my own decisions and have started off new forms wherever I go...
So now, I just have to stand on the frontline to act Rambo to backfire pressing issues.
My couter parts all think I'm damn bold...
but what to do...it's the venture capitalist spirit...
wanna do it...then do it big and keep looking forward...
Oh well...for now... I've got some other bigger aims to attain...
and this time, I will not wait for anyone to make the decision...
when the time comes...it's probably a good thing to open my own Private Limited if
the vision in this current company doesn't go in tie with mine... :p
As they say..."Shi jian bu liu ren"
So...when the iron is hot...strike it fast!
I guess I should say that it's been really mentally exhausting this reason...
So many things to solve and so much human problems to handle.
Sometimes I wonder why some management behave in a certain way...
Either penny wise pound foolish or "Wanting the buffalo to work with no adequate grass for filling"
Have been stressing to the old minds sometimes...Look at the bloody BIG picture!
There were many things I foresaw many months ago.
Like the directive we should be going into...
The new diversification we should spread our wings to...
The incentives we should offer...
many many more...
But there don't see it until times like now...
sigh...looks like the stupid army practice is still living...
"rushing to wait and wait to rush" mentality....
Anyway that's why this time round...
I shoot off my own decisions and have started off new forms wherever I go...
So now, I just have to stand on the frontline to act Rambo to backfire pressing issues.
My couter parts all think I'm damn bold...
but what to do...it's the venture capitalist spirit...
wanna do it...then do it big and keep looking forward...
Oh well...for now... I've got some other bigger aims to attain...
and this time, I will not wait for anyone to make the decision...
when the time comes...it's probably a good thing to open my own Private Limited if
the vision in this current company doesn't go in tie with mine... :p
As they say..."Shi jian bu liu ren"
So...when the iron is hot...strike it fast!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
So What in the world do I really mean?
What Kenneth Chan Wai Mun Means |
 You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts. You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it. You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator! You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. |
Sunday, March 09, 2008
And my heart pumped hard as I held your hands in mine
a warmth like a spreading qi blew through the veins and every other part of me.
It was like ecstasy a living dream afloat the free sunny skies...
And as you cling on to my arm with short glances while we watched
everything in this world simply felt so right...
enough said...
a warmth like a spreading qi blew through the veins and every other part of me.
It was like ecstasy a living dream afloat the free sunny skies...
And as you cling on to my arm with short glances while we watched
everything in this world simply felt so right...
enough said...
Friday, March 07, 2008
Nobody argues that the United States is far too dependent on foreign oil.
Environmental special interest groups continue to stand in the way of further exploration for and extraction of our own domestic energy resources. They respond to the growing crisis by demanding instead that we all drive less and turn to exotic, unproven sources of energy.
No one disagrees that diversifying our energy sources is a good idea. But if we really want to break free of our growing dependence on oil controlled by unstable and hostile governments, we must use domestic resource wealth to produce transportation fuels and do so in an environmentally sensitive way.
And I think something from the past is boiling right now to popularity for a big future take over!
:p
Environmental special interest groups continue to stand in the way of further exploration for and extraction of our own domestic energy resources. They respond to the growing crisis by demanding instead that we all drive less and turn to exotic, unproven sources of energy.
No one disagrees that diversifying our energy sources is a good idea. But if we really want to break free of our growing dependence on oil controlled by unstable and hostile governments, we must use domestic resource wealth to produce transportation fuels and do so in an environmentally sensitive way.
And I think something from the past is boiling right now to popularity for a big future take over!
:p
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Yet another week ending..
like some messy warfront on the job
but a sunny warmth on the other side.
Mind's real stretched
with great extensions
and day's ending relaxations...
Like torrential rain
a darkening back and warmth to front.
So many hiccups
sometimes it simply gets me fed up
gotten enough of the dumping of trash...
But after words in just few moments
some light forces through the cold
To show some truth at the final moment...
Makes my life so darn interesting doesn't it?
Maybe alittle too interesting... :p
like some messy warfront on the job
but a sunny warmth on the other side.
Mind's real stretched
with great extensions
and day's ending relaxations...
Like torrential rain
a darkening back and warmth to front.
So many hiccups
sometimes it simply gets me fed up
gotten enough of the dumping of trash...
But after words in just few moments
some light forces through the cold
To show some truth at the final moment...
Makes my life so darn interesting doesn't it?
Maybe alittle too interesting... :p
Sunday, February 24, 2008
I walk I walk...
I thought and I thought
Where I'd go and where I'd not
turning left turning right
both ways somehow doesn't seem too right..
heavy hearted looking for something light...
In days like this I just...
walk...
I walk I walk...
then sitting by the swing
swaying left swaying right...
saw no reason saw no light...
Oh help me somebody
take me in custody..
A moment like this...
I just would crumble...
I thought and I thought
Where I'd go and where I'd not
turning left turning right
both ways somehow doesn't seem too right..
heavy hearted looking for something light...
In days like this I just...
walk...
I walk I walk...
then sitting by the swing
swaying left swaying right...
saw no reason saw no light...
Oh help me somebody
take me in custody..
A moment like this...
I just would crumble...
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Johannesburg- South Africa..
In the midst of a supposing already modernized Africa...
Still dirty, darkish and gloomy....
The air is very much filled with dust...lands of litter....
And Sometimes the streets can be oh so so confusing...one of which was Bree...
Abit dodgy district in Jozi that is currently undergoing some renewal....anyway...what a mess.
And What's new?...just like some third world countries...stall owners all say that their stuff is the best...
yakking away the whole day...aiyoh...was really disturbing esp when you're trying to think and focus on where you're going
or should I say trying to go...along a not so safe side street...
She sells some Giant Vetkoek...like some mince meat filled wrap (looks like a Pau) with cheddar cheese toppings and
chilli. But this was some where within Mandela's Market in J'burg. Yes yes....something that is alittle familiar from Singapore
if you take a closer look...you see...'Piesangs'...like our Goreng Pisang
Down in Soweto to see if I can make some improvement proposal....but nah....I think the place...is a vast piece of wasteland...
so much dirt...so much crap there....to clear it up...the people gotta start doing something themselves first....
This is like Miles of poverty over here...and yet sometimes they don't really work to help themselves....
So how to help?....
Still thinking about it. maybe when I come up with something I'll be a billionaire....
Still dirty, darkish and gloomy....
The air is very much filled with dust...lands of litter....
And Sometimes the streets can be oh so so confusing...one of which was Bree...
Abit dodgy district in Jozi that is currently undergoing some renewal....anyway...what a mess.
And What's new?...just like some third world countries...stall owners all say that their stuff is the best...
yakking away the whole day...aiyoh...was really disturbing esp when you're trying to think and focus on where you're going
or should I say trying to go...along a not so safe side street...
She sells some Giant Vetkoek...like some mince meat filled wrap (looks like a Pau) with cheddar cheese toppings and
chilli. But this was some where within Mandela's Market in J'burg. Yes yes....something that is alittle familiar from Singapore
if you take a closer look...you see...'Piesangs'...like our Goreng Pisang
Down in Soweto to see if I can make some improvement proposal....but nah....I think the place...is a vast piece of wasteland...
so much dirt...so much crap there....to clear it up...the people gotta start doing something themselves first....
This is like Miles of poverty over here...and yet sometimes they don't really work to help themselves....
So how to help?....
Still thinking about it. maybe when I come up with something I'll be a billionaire....
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
As seconds passed...
It feels like I'm gripped by a magnetic force...
so strong yet destination seem unreachable.
just recently, I've begun to think very frequently
about how I'd have to manage my future...
how I'd settle down with a place I'd call my own...
and with the things I'd say are my own
and built by me...
Suddenly it feels like I need some direction...
something to slap me straight on the path again
and I'd walk through the trying roads again...
to keep on going...
Oh well....these days I've been really thinking alot...
thinking alot about many many things...
It feels like I'm gripped by a magnetic force...
so strong yet destination seem unreachable.
just recently, I've begun to think very frequently
about how I'd have to manage my future...
how I'd settle down with a place I'd call my own...
and with the things I'd say are my own
and built by me...
Suddenly it feels like I need some direction...
something to slap me straight on the path again
and I'd walk through the trying roads again...
to keep on going...
Oh well....these days I've been really thinking alot...
thinking alot about many many things...
Monday, February 04, 2008
The rush of memories of us
The 3 musketeers
20 years hath passed and yet going strong
How we've changed
from the small to the big
from the short to the tall
from the gorging monster to the conscious fanatic
like a full wave rectifier
keeping each other's strength on the go
we go down low
but ne'er the negatives
Together the 3 of us hath escalated from the talks
of kiddy wants and plays
to the move to marriage and settlement
to the reach of financial just.
However life's been trying
a rocky road
but however bumby it's been and it will be
in energized strength we will
stick on side by side..
beyond the end of days...
~To the Paulie and Richie~
The 3 musketeers
20 years hath passed and yet going strong
How we've changed
from the small to the big
from the short to the tall
from the gorging monster to the conscious fanatic
like a full wave rectifier
keeping each other's strength on the go
we go down low
but ne'er the negatives
Together the 3 of us hath escalated from the talks
of kiddy wants and plays
to the move to marriage and settlement
to the reach of financial just.
However life's been trying
a rocky road
but however bumby it's been and it will be
in energized strength we will
stick on side by side..
beyond the end of days...
~To the Paulie and Richie~
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
I wish..
"Let me in
to see you in the morning light
to get me on and all along the tears they come
see all come
I want you to believe in life
but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times
lift me up
just lift me up don't make a sound
and let me hold you up before you hit the Ground
see all come
you say your all right
but I get the strangest feeling
that you've gone away- you've gone away
and will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times
Don't give me up
don't give me up tonight
or soon nothing will be right at all
salvation
will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted"
to see you in the morning light
to get me on and all along the tears they come
see all come
I want you to believe in life
but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times
lift me up
just lift me up don't make a sound
and let me hold you up before you hit the Ground
see all come
you say your all right
but I get the strangest feeling
that you've gone away- you've gone away
and will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times
Don't give me up
don't give me up tonight
or soon nothing will be right at all
salvation
will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted"
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Sitting....just sitting on my desk...
Today I've got a different feeling...
just a feeling..
have I made the right choices so far in my life..?
Well the issue is...
Goodness...who really knows?
It's the calculated risk that I've taken at every step of my life...
either spending time
either spending money
either spending my brain cells with
either spending sleepless nights for
either spending all my strength and effort...
Oh but what the heck right?....
Of course there are somethings I just feel it's all a waste...
but somehow today...my views switched to a different perspective...
There were quite a number of things I've been working on....bearing fruits today..
C'mon....just 2 more days to the end of the month...and I'll see the short holidays for awhile....
need a mental break....just for awhile...
Hmmm....wait...for the next 12 days I've got to speak Mandrin!
Jiang Hua Yu! OMG....but I'll try my best as promised...
I guess it's gona be the first time I'd take up chinese for the sake of somebody...
worth it?...
well...always is. :)
Today I've got a different feeling...
just a feeling..
have I made the right choices so far in my life..?
Well the issue is...
Goodness...who really knows?
It's the calculated risk that I've taken at every step of my life...
either spending time
either spending money
either spending my brain cells with
either spending sleepless nights for
either spending all my strength and effort...
Oh but what the heck right?....
Of course there are somethings I just feel it's all a waste...
but somehow today...my views switched to a different perspective...
There were quite a number of things I've been working on....bearing fruits today..
C'mon....just 2 more days to the end of the month...and I'll see the short holidays for awhile....
need a mental break....just for awhile...
Hmmm....wait...for the next 12 days I've got to speak Mandrin!
Jiang Hua Yu! OMG....but I'll try my best as promised...
I guess it's gona be the first time I'd take up chinese for the sake of somebody...
worth it?...
well...always is. :)
And I shut my eyes...
in sudden remembrance,
of how situations...good or bad...just fired up the course
of poetic imagination...
I remembered when I let go, but the feelings that was in the
memory bank....
It was a form of raps....form of poetic war...
Well anyway...
it's been saddening enough to
know that I hit the spot of the one
who matters most...
Punishment....actually whatever it is...I'd accept...
I'm apologetic...
in fact...to know and to be conscious of
the effects and the act of it...
already...it's piercing.
in sudden remembrance,
of how situations...good or bad...just fired up the course
of poetic imagination...
I remembered when I let go, but the feelings that was in the
memory bank....
It was a form of raps....form of poetic war...
Well anyway...
it's been saddening enough to
know that I hit the spot of the one
who matters most...
Punishment....actually whatever it is...I'd accept...
I'm apologetic...
in fact...to know and to be conscious of
the effects and the act of it...
already...it's piercing.
Monday, January 28, 2008
And I should be geared for the 6th
ready to be full speed ahead....
erhmm....I hope.
I never thought my brain waves were colourful...
I never thought I was that active even when I'm supposed to be asleep...
crap....I think I'll age at an exponential rate...
Oh whata heck...
Does it even matter?...
Let's see what tomorrow brings...
ready to be full speed ahead....
erhmm....I hope.
I never thought my brain waves were colourful...
I never thought I was that active even when I'm supposed to be asleep...
crap....I think I'll age at an exponential rate...
Oh whata heck...
Does it even matter?...
Let's see what tomorrow brings...
Sunday, January 27, 2008
back to scrap metal
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Today marks the end of my first not so legal road burner...
haiz... my internal work of art...
totally self modified, self tuned, self upgraded...
My local hobby kit before the Chevy Corvette Stingray.
There's something about me and black when it comes to
these fast ones. Sigh...my 5sec car is going to be scrap metal...
Take it to the road...the sound, the full aesthetic look will bring you
to a police care chase any time...the exhaust..and tints...base lights....head and tail lights...
full Halogen modification.
I think, as my promise to the special someone...
I ain't gona endanger my life in these plays...
a cat can have one 9 lives....after that....it's gone...
I don't know where my ninth is...or was...
but I'm sure, I've seen death in my face quite a few times...
Windsurfing....surfing...free-climbing...speed boat high chases...drag races...Muay Thai...
damn....u name it...
I think at some point in life...you've got things you wanna hold on to...
and you won't wanna let them go. You'd just wanna build a place you call your own..
And I wanna do just that with...hmmm...you know who you are.
Homely I would be...financially conscious... and safety first mentality...
hmm....well..working towards those actually...
I've been a risk taker for ages and to turn that round over night won't be impossible
but it takes time. With great reasons comes great determination to keep to the route.
anyway...it's really been quite some time since I last blogged...
Been also very very busy...dealing with alot at work....juggling alot of things at a go.
Thanks to my 2 buddies...Paul and Rich..for celebrating my belated birthday...
the thing that I actually forgotten...buried in work far off in Thailand... Didn't have anyone to celebrate with.
But with a warming 1st SMS from Jace wishing me... that was enough...
People asked me then in Thailand...what would be my first wish...and I just said... I just wanted to pass my freakin'
Advance theory test! which was on the 21st...the day I return from Thailand. Somehow I've turned stupid and just can't get through that even after so many times....darn sickening...
of coz...I didn't wish for the one biggest thing that I've been yearning to get to...
I believed in working for it and not getting it like a breeze. That would bring no meaning...
working for it brings strength and more feeling to it. though sometimes... I did feel I was failing and on the down slope...
Many have asked me why won't I just give it up and knock on another door...
I can't do it...not my character. I pick a door, I'll keep knocking 'til the death of me...or 'til the door creeps open
not in welcome but to lay a seal before my eyes...
I can't help it...
But whatever... I passed! hohoho... but ended up with a fever... had a technical test to go for and in between I ran off for the
theory test....a full day of non-stop test and trials... weirdly...I managed them and passed both.
somehow the happiest I felt was the advance test...when the other was of more importance...hahaha...
However...to my disappointment I've to wait til may before I get to do my practical....SUCKS!
argh...I've to hold on a jam break to whatever hopes I had 'til then....
So long.. :S
But anyway... maybe God wants to exercise my patience once again...
like my life hasn't been enough of tests and trials already...
so much mental drain....emotional drain... so what's this?... I guess I can get through this...
but of coz with abit of a feeling like my heart's been grip on a restrainer.
For this moment...I think I need some avenue to let out the burning sensation...
I've to keep finding my strength...focusing on climbing forward...
bringing myself to fear...meeting fear in the eyes and overcoming every other physical and mental aspect of my
sense of being...
if not...I'll just need a long run...really long run...
But first...I'll take off to check on the blood vessel in my head...and my back...
the most worrying is yet my insomnia is seemingly back..
And I'll be going to alter that tomorrow... don't want it coming back...
and for me to be humanly awake for the next few months...
Monday, January 07, 2008
Jialat
And I'll be out of sight for a few days in the month of Jan...
haiz...
seems to me the migraines coming back...
I might be evolving...
with the cocktail of insomnia and imbalance hours...
I might just simply say I'm quite screwed...
haiz...
seems to me the migraines coming back...
I might be evolving...
with the cocktail of insomnia and imbalance hours...
I might just simply say I'm quite screwed...
With the silence of the night...
I lay tucked tight under blankets
feeling the coldness and emptiness within.
The sudden feel of pressure building
in this coming year...
like never before.
Challenges after challenges...
feats after feats...
the more I accomplish the more I step forward for more...
But what is it that I'm working for?
Sometimes I wonder about the days when I keep going...
what was it that I see for tomorrow?
Yes some dream of my own creation...
Some thoughts of a great empire...but will that even happen?
How do I go about it all?....hmmm....
this year...the mark of me on the take over...
to boost and make soaring monetary flow... not for me....but for the company I work for.
I aim to hit 100k in percentage for personal profits....how I go about that?....
I think and think constantly....everyday....every night...
haven't found something right...
I think as Jace is on the work for her studies...
I'll just let her focus while I seek fortune for 2008.
I want to have a house and a car of my own by age 30...
I'll be mobile... on the move everywhere to seek 'gold'...
somewhere I will find...
But really....at this point....
I do need a break somehow....sometime...
And June might be a good time to do that...
And plan my route for attaining my targets I will...
c'mon....I just need to freeze my brain alittle and then let loose for creativity
to run wild again....
Very frustrated at the moment...with no answers...
sigh...
I lay tucked tight under blankets
feeling the coldness and emptiness within.
The sudden feel of pressure building
in this coming year...
like never before.
Challenges after challenges...
feats after feats...
the more I accomplish the more I step forward for more...
But what is it that I'm working for?
Sometimes I wonder about the days when I keep going...
what was it that I see for tomorrow?
Yes some dream of my own creation...
Some thoughts of a great empire...but will that even happen?
How do I go about it all?....hmmm....
this year...the mark of me on the take over...
to boost and make soaring monetary flow... not for me....but for the company I work for.
I aim to hit 100k in percentage for personal profits....how I go about that?....
I think and think constantly....everyday....every night...
haven't found something right...
I think as Jace is on the work for her studies...
I'll just let her focus while I seek fortune for 2008.
I want to have a house and a car of my own by age 30...
I'll be mobile... on the move everywhere to seek 'gold'...
somewhere I will find...
But really....at this point....
I do need a break somehow....sometime...
And June might be a good time to do that...
And plan my route for attaining my targets I will...
c'mon....I just need to freeze my brain alittle and then let loose for creativity
to run wild again....
Very frustrated at the moment...with no answers...
sigh...
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
All over last night...
A horrid dream I had. Losing the closest friends with nothing left behind.
The disappearing loving family into nothingness where I couldn't find.
And that darling one who is named as my "sqweaky furry rodent" held in my arms and hands...
gone too beyond the reach of my arm's lengths...
And then I'd say...now "I am legend"...
:/
A busy day I had with so much things flowing down from mountains stock piled from the season holis
that came from christmas and then the new year.
With the "always on vacation" American factory and the "always relaxed and take it too easy" European Factory...
Hardly could get anything finished. My orders in the containers had so much to deal with....so much coordination
still stuck in the dreamland of theirs. All will get serious firing when they get back...
I don't care if they are white black yello green or blue....They will get the wake up call from me.
So much administrative things to push on with...blasting off with all the prep for my "better working year"
resolution...oh well...
And I had to still complain I have no sales to deal with on local lands in the mid-morning....
So after lunch...the great one up there showered me with loads of enquiries and calls...
that once again I was becoming an octopus before I could even start taking my next breath.
Funny thing is that I managed to cut the slice off 300% margin in the beginning of the year with a nice 2k sales
in just less than half the day...Ooops....so you just do your math and see what my cost is....
Okok....my nose is getting longer...gotta roll it back some day.
After a whole day's work....practically ending it off at 11pm cut off...
I sit back and took a read into my friendster...
On some lousy feeling day...after a bad dream....after so much talks and discussions...
after so much craps that you think so lowly of yourself in the day....
you wonder into the warm fuzzies of the friendster commentary and testimonials...
There you see...and funniest things people notice about you...
and there you could just regain back the leverage to move on tomorrow...
coz you remembered how much more you can do and will want to push on....
Kudos to the idea of testi on friendster...
WARNING!! TO MUCH OF IT WOULD GET YOU TO BE FULL OF YOURSELF...
TAKE WITH PROPER PRESCRIPTION!!!
hahaaaa....ok....enough for the day....the bonkers and KO time!
A horrid dream I had. Losing the closest friends with nothing left behind.
The disappearing loving family into nothingness where I couldn't find.
And that darling one who is named as my "sqweaky furry rodent" held in my arms and hands...
gone too beyond the reach of my arm's lengths...
And then I'd say...now "I am legend"...
:/
A busy day I had with so much things flowing down from mountains stock piled from the season holis
that came from christmas and then the new year.
With the "always on vacation" American factory and the "always relaxed and take it too easy" European Factory...
Hardly could get anything finished. My orders in the containers had so much to deal with....so much coordination
still stuck in the dreamland of theirs. All will get serious firing when they get back...
I don't care if they are white black yello green or blue....They will get the wake up call from me.
So much administrative things to push on with...blasting off with all the prep for my "better working year"
resolution...oh well...
And I had to still complain I have no sales to deal with on local lands in the mid-morning....
So after lunch...the great one up there showered me with loads of enquiries and calls...
that once again I was becoming an octopus before I could even start taking my next breath.
Funny thing is that I managed to cut the slice off 300% margin in the beginning of the year with a nice 2k sales
in just less than half the day...Ooops....so you just do your math and see what my cost is....
Okok....my nose is getting longer...gotta roll it back some day.
After a whole day's work....practically ending it off at 11pm cut off...
I sit back and took a read into my friendster...
On some lousy feeling day...after a bad dream....after so much talks and discussions...
after so much craps that you think so lowly of yourself in the day....
you wonder into the warm fuzzies of the friendster commentary and testimonials...
There you see...and funniest things people notice about you...
and there you could just regain back the leverage to move on tomorrow...
coz you remembered how much more you can do and will want to push on....
Kudos to the idea of testi on friendster...
WARNING!! TO MUCH OF IT WOULD GET YOU TO BE FULL OF YOURSELF...
TAKE WITH PROPER PRESCRIPTION!!!
hahaaaa....ok....enough for the day....the bonkers and KO time!
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
A simple new year eve this time...
simply spent with Jace.
Got a nice Rhodium Cufflink for a christmas present from her too...
Raoul does sound like a plan...hahaa..
The next time I must remember though....never to step into town or try to
get into any eatery without booking....
so sickening....all fully booked.
Even when I decided on Equinox...wanna pay money also no space.
Disgusting...
But anyway...fortunately...the one most important factor was fulfilled...
and that's all that mattered. :)
wonder anywhere also...I can't really be that bothered already.
hahaha...
simply spent with Jace.
Got a nice Rhodium Cufflink for a christmas present from her too...
Raoul does sound like a plan...hahaa..
The next time I must remember though....never to step into town or try to
get into any eatery without booking....
so sickening....all fully booked.
Even when I decided on Equinox...wanna pay money also no space.
Disgusting...
But anyway...fortunately...the one most important factor was fulfilled...
and that's all that mattered. :)
wonder anywhere also...I can't really be that bothered already.
hahaha...
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