Funny how I'd so simply just keep writing the whole day...
Be it on work, be it on thoughts and be it on feelings...
My hands are starting to just speak! what use becomes my mouth then? :p

yah crap...

Suddenly I'm feeling some burning sensation at the back of my mind...
just to fill up my adrenalin boiling blood.
Scare the wits off myself once again...
Maybe I'm just lacking of that in a while..or maybe I should say a long while.
Sometimes, being overly excited at one side of my life that is happening
might not just be a thing to do...
Then the talks of Yin and Yang will come rushing in and slap me in the face,
telling me it's all off balance.
No Kenneth...tell me, what's important in your life right now?
I constantly have my brains mumbling within itself...like it's a separate part of me.

Well, I guess I've got a few important things to me... and somehow, there is no
differentiation that I can come up with.
That's where monkhood can never come into reality in my life...
well maybe when I actually have given up on everything else...that
could just be yet the last option...
hmmm....nah....bullshit. It won't happen. Rather look at being some
long lost kungfu master hidden up in the mountains of the forgotten and
just simply live my life there myself...
where I breath the highest air, feel the coldest winds, see the darkest nights
yet the wondrous of stars and eat the grass that grow beneath my steps...
Well and just trying to forget what the hell went on 'til I came to such a point.
Oh well...just a thought though. That's when the world comes crashing on me
and I've got nobody behind me to keep my strength going...
That will be the day... or I could be simply lying in the hospital beds just staring into
the nothingness of the wall opposite me, or just the blankness of the other guy
lying, feeling just a crappy being in the hospital we both got ourselves into.

Oh anyway...
Like I said, when that time comes...the plans could've changed. Maybe the trends of being
the kungfu master or the lying in the hospital bed thing has already gone off beat in that social ring.

Now let me continue....

>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>

I dreamt vividly
oh yes most sincerely
words written with fire
across the grounds
that shows my desire...
Like a pitch black sky
with stars joint with symbolism
Of what can't be just blabbered...
Deep inside I held it
Held it oh so tight...
When the moment comes
I'd just show it
But....
Alas the moments keep changing
like a toy of my mind.
What's there to look for and decide on these days?
The wanting of doing so just let it fade...
not knowing when it should come yet again.
Sometimes it doesn't happen oh the pain...
and again and again you'd just hope things would be
and yet nothing you could see...
how then
I can't defend
the feelings deep inside
the very things I yet can't hide...
And then tonight I yet moved heavily...
Too like seeing a hefty 7 or more ahead...
But somehow,
no matter the strength
no matter the vision
no matter the wants...
I'm left breathless...
all in hope that a light-year crosses the path
and in a blink I feel nothing that has been hanging before
and be jolly for the next in step...
coz it's....
one
two
three
four
five...
all it's been so unkind
or maybe so...
it's a self pounding factor
that brought about that smashed
hmm oh yes the water ripples...
a reverse of power that hits with a thousand times harder...
But for now...
I just want a reason to believe....
And I'll find a way to see that it's all true...
As for now....it's just burning
so let it burn
so let it burn
burn into a speck of nothingness once again...
and tomorrow walks another day...
while now I sit with tear drop in my eye...
sometimes confused
sometimes in wonder
sometimes in ponder
but very in love....
My cocktail of flaming tequila!
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