Intentions delivered and received in a wrong perspective is painful...
Truely I miss you so and it isn't that I'm willing to get out of the house for you.
In fact, it would be the only reason that I would get out of the house.

Neither would I want to intentionally kill one's sleep.
I'd be happier if sleep was good and that I didn't unconsciously distrupt...
less moody and grouchy...
more smiley and bubbly...

If I could turn back the hands of time...
I'd wanna tie myself to a part of the bed that no further I'd go to restrict ample space...
I'd wanna hava nice quiet dinner with the special you...
just you and me...
without troubling thoughts of exams and stuff for once...
away from squabbling and arguements...

And just have a walk in town together hand in hand where the crowd mean nothing coz all we see would be just each other...
then time stops while you window shop while I get to see more of what are your likes and wants...
and one day once again I'd find some way to try getting it somehow...

sigh...
or besides all these... it doesn't have to mean doing anything...
just being by your side is more than enough for me...
walking your dog or hopefully painting your room with the arty idea you may have in mind... making it come true... materialising it all as one art piece.

oh well the day is ending...what's the worth of saying such things now?...
but only to my blog... my little diary of events and feelings...

as night begins to fall upon the land... with my body totally cooled down...
the pain and aches of th long run I had starts to set in...
having problems standing up from a sitting position as the knee feels like it's about to detach from my thighs...
and my neck so stiff to unfeeling that my head could fall off anytime without me even knowing...
finally the sole of my feet... suffering from the wears from rough usage...

but all in good time,
it will go away
or distracted
I should say...
coz when the migraine comes...
nothing else aches matters...

probably head down to the physician tomorrow for some chinese traditional cure...
hope it cures
pray it doesn't taste or smell funky...

I hope I won't head back my exhausion...
coz having not recovered fully from the last one...
I'm feeling the next wave....
argh...what a bother!....

Running the Standard chartered Marathon...

Couldn't sleep the night before until way passed midnight...
rolled around in bed...
before I know it....4hrs went flying pass
and it was time for my waking...
Headed off home at 4.45am to the start line...
And that's where it all began...
The marathon....a challenge of self
a mental focus and persistance...
A moment where you learn what dealing with the difficulties you face really means....

The Race hit off with people from all walks of life coming together for this annual run...
A run where you go beyond your limits and yet do a good deed...
Runniing for charity... Breast Cancer foundation...

At the start...it was all good and with ease,
considering the fact that I haven't done a run for about a month since exam fever clouded NTU...
But wait...like I said, it's only the start...
people were on the rush to be in front. Hated running with such crowd.
Anyway, yah.. they were rushing from side to side like mad cows having a predator at their back...
you watch animal planet, you'll know what I mean...hahaa...

The sky was still dark in the wee hours of the morning and the stretch of esplanade to Raffles Place was like a ghost town
disturbed by the mad cows stampede.
The crowd made it feel like it was about 8pm in the evening where people were on their way to partying or some function...
or maybe a family outing...
Well anyway, heading towards 10km, awaiting my injured buddy behind...having a bleeding toe, I jogged on the spot to keep my body warmed up...MISTAKE!!!
that's where hell came along trying to take over my head...
The crams hit...
And that was it...
After every few drinking points or banana freebie stall... I had to stop for a stretch and also had to keep my steps small in order not to overstrain my muscles further...
Partially limping my way with my clicking knee...I was determined not to fall out and to complete this whole thing...this run.
Well your mind and body gotta work harder when things get harder right?... mental power was it!
towards the midpoint, those I saw sprinting madly at the start, were showing signs of exhaustion... crazy right?...
yah...and they had the face of "Why the F**k did I have to put myself through this pain? what's worst, having to pay for it too!"
hahahaa....so I just smiled and galloped my way pass them, the way Min would get me to do from the sink wash area to her room. Talking about Min, during the run, I was missing her... Baby I love you...

the rest of the run was....erhmm..... I really don't know 'coz I reached the point of not thinking anymore... just let my legs go with the flow...pain or not...just let it be. The most important thing is to finish it...
The idea was to just look front and focus, then you have a higher chance of surviving those crams and joint pains...
coz at the side, you have people falling out for bad crams where the toes were all curled up or going into fits too! that was scary...!!
but well like I said...face front and don't think about it, just run...just do it.

Completion was ecstasy... running your own race. A self challenge, testing your determination...
My dad always told me, "Kenneth... the structure of a human is not like those of a horse...don't think you are a horse and think you can run so crazily like them...." But then...you see... completing the run... I get to say that putting your mind to it, the impossible is nothing... the destination is there...always there, if you are determined to finish it, you will... anyone can, just how long you take to get there. The most important is getting there...the point where you wanna be... obstacles will slow you down, but overcoming one by one...the fighting spirit brings you to greater heights with you being a better life fighter...

Sometimes it takes such kinda feats for one to learn something...
well for me...it's that way I guess...
=)

Wow!! what a run!