Somehow today seems empty...
closed a few deals...scolded a few sickening workers to get their butt movin'..
cleared up work...helped some stranger lady to fix her tires in the middle of the road...
explained some conceptual crap to somebody about starting up business...
and back home in the emotional irony.

bottled up emptiness...
is that even possible?

Simply crazy...just so so crazy...

"She rolls the window down
And she
Talks over the sound
Of the cars that pass us by
And I don't know why
But she's changed my mind

Would you look at her
She looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly
But she don't know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl

She was the one to hold me
The night
The sky fell down
And what was I thinking when
The world didn't end
Why didn't I know what I know now

Right now
Face to face
All my fears
Pushed aside
And right now
I'm ready to spend the rest of my life
With you"

The ringings in my ear when I'm away...

The sky has lost it's color
The sun has turned to grey
At least that's how it feels to me
Whenever I’m away

I crawl up in the corner
As I watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time when I'll be back
Back to you

I can't take the distance
I can't take the miles
I can't take the time
Until the next time I see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That I can't take a breath without saying your name
I can brave a hurricane
And still be standing tall when all the dust has settled down
But I can't take the distance

I still believe in feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough
Not nearly close enough

If I could turn back time...

***************************************************************
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you're just about to walk though my door
So what's the question now?
Oh baby please tell me how?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have said
that you would give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Are you turning away?
So is there some pride that makes you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
It's a lie what you keep inside
I hope this is not how you want to be
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I just want you in my life
No matter what i have to do
I'll just wait for you
If it's all true
***********************************************************

The weird networking of a third world country...
reception comes and goes like I never know what will happen next.
some of them simply uses the SMS protocol to connect to other countries...
some of them still have use an operator to do a call over
some of them use some super high powered transmitter which probably burn the cells
out of me just by being next to it.
Making it all so difficult to make contact some times...
Isolating me to just me and my thoughts...

sometimes it's just fortunate I get to some beeping cable contact to get online...
just for awhile...in some broken down shop...

all these simply pushes me out of the country very much....unless I'm looking for a getaway
where nobody can get me.

Into the wilderness....
the wild and darkness..
like into the depth of phi phi before it was developed alittle...
and all you have was just the tweety birds and cool fresh breeze that rushes in from nature's air welling.
And the morning dew shimmering cool drop into the bright new day...


But for now...when I'm not on a getaway...
I'll need to get connected....always!

Coming back to the moments in time...

____________________________________________________________
The feelings of the little moments
____________________________________________________________

Sra Srang was a sight
the silence so quiet I felt left beyond understanding
But yet the sunset
I feel the warmth of you
And as light fills the sky
like the imagery of you in my mind..
As the rest sit about in drinks and laughter
I stood in the moment...
appreciating the every second of closeness I had...
now that I am away
an hour behind... and 3hrs apart
Oh I wanna just be back
And soon I will
____________________________________________________

The year's ending... and it just crossed my mind that it was a flash that this year passes...
So quickly... it just swifts away. So much have changed, so much have been done yet not enough.
Like the biggest change from being a student to being a full time dog to the corporate rat race...
And then from being just free lance programmer to being an asst manager to being a marketing manager
and then finally to be a regional manager of a group of companies.
Different kinds of pressure digging in with different forms of stresses...studies and scholarships to targets, earnings,
profits and empire expansions...well of course in the consistent mind kept over finding this special one.

Sometimes people ask me along the way, what my greatest achievements were...
I pause...
I realised I haven't made any. Beyond those egoistic empowerment of strong teams, great winnings, high reaches over
over physical and mental challenges... I haven't found simplicity.
I guess I still need to find balance... or some automated system to clear all the piling up load that I have
while I just bring on the brave front to move forward everyday and end the day with the smiles at home...
soon my very own home...
Like the day is a warfare and the night & weekends becomes peace and soothing comfort in the fortress of my own
sharing the minutes and seconds with that special one and the special little ones thereafter.
Oh well...
These days with inflation and rising cost of living...
It's getting harder and harder to plan for things to happen especially when what you can afford today, you can't tomorrow.


Next year's resolution...
-To rev the engines legally
-settle down my office for operational smoothness
-find a snowballing effective plan
-to look at life and survival at a different angle
-take a good holiday some time to revive the senses (cost not considered)
-most of all to walk my life, sharing it with someone else



That's all for now.... :)

Imagine being a Mr amongst just too many Dr in a discussion of fluid mechanics...
AND I SELL PUMPS FOR FLUID TRANSFER!!!...
Good gracious! can you imagine that?... who am I to kid?

well...I still kid them and they bought the theories and resolution I came up with anyway...
It seems to them that amongst the group I emerged most resourceful...
But anyway...they are customers...so it's damn it my job to be more resourceful right?
hahaha....weird feeling in all that today...
dressed in forma business attire while I headed off in the rain into the fields of PUB water plant sites for testings
and problem solving....digging my hands in mud and soily water to find the meaning of filtration...
Oh I'm so darn tired...with countless calls ringing and vibrating the side of my freakin' groin when the pocket had to
slip right in...gave me the jump.

Well...but then again the most soothing voice did come and it made the day all bright again....hehe..
and then came some window shopping at the end of the day... and to top it off...
I think the feeling is getting more mutual...
Ok I like that thought...
and though my tummy is on the upset and nausea....it's good enough medication for me to keep me smiling...

HOHOHOOO...

=)

The run today was perfectly good...except for some small blisters caused by the sock...
considering the superb lack of training this year....I think well...
it's all good.
taken my mind well off some issues hangin'...
I'm like afraid that I might not be even able to spend christmas in Singapore.
I think that isn't much of an issue to many people...
but I guess for me...I'd wanna be in Singapore coz Jace is around.
At least I can try dig out time to spend with her in some way or other...
Well it's nothing much, as least it's something I will wanna work on with my work schedule.

Spent the whole of last week think and searching a gift for her just in case I'm not back in time...
WAh....goodness...trying to get girls stuff can be real complicated.
Not that I haven't gotten any girl anything but...this time is different.
And I was looking around all by myself...
Going ito girlie stores and female section...getting weird looking stares...people thinking
that I'm kinda going for some conversion....EEEeeew...never!
But yesterday, I finally found something...something simple.
And I guess the packaging would need some work....maybe just alittle...hahaha...
with alittle Poem slipped in.
Hope she likes it..

Oh well..

And today will be also the end of my 14 days of taking over the role of Daddy and Mummy in the house...
I only had time for just 1 experiment though....which I think my grandma and sis with her boyfriend found it
very nice...cool....

ok maybe just alittle sharing of it...
It's my own French Clear Onion Soup...
hahaha

Here it goes...

----------------------------------
-2 BigWhite Onion stripped
-3 big Pink Onion stripped
-1 small shallot stripped
-2 garlic minced
-Olive Butter
(if there is some white wine it will be good to let the onion cook in it with the butter)

Fry the top ingredients until the onions and tender and slightly brown.

Boil the bottom ingredients together under slow fire
-Fresh Thyme, Italian parsley & bay leaves tied together
-a pinch of dried rosemary
- 2 tablespoon Apple cider vinegar
-1.25 liter chicken broth
-3/4 teaspoon salt
-1 teaspoon brown sugar
-2 tablespoon Dubonnet

(if there is some beef cubes it will be best)

Once the onions are ready, combine the onions and stock together and let it all boil through.
Keep stirring to prevent the onions from burning at the bottom.

The Soup will slowly have a nice light sooth of sweet onion flavour.

Add alittle pepper to taste....and viola! It's done!
________________________________________________

Feel daring for the day...go try it. hahaha....