what goes down....tries to come up...

It's been days
It's been weeks
since my fingers start to type streams
A flow of words of thoughts
like a rushing river
from an up hill to the down bubbly lake...

The roaring power and tumbling water
calls out words of my heart
the thoughts of my mind
yet with alittle silence of my soul...
For the weeks that come
rough days, heavy mind and less fun
The days passings bring confusion and much wonder
Much things to ponder
Like how the world turns
The ticks and tocks of a lass
Just to work our smiles with my best...
Sometimes, it seems nothing is enough
sometimes it seems doing nothing is enough
sometimes it seems thinking of something is tough
sometimes I wished, a little spice
some salt and pepper too much
a raging fire that builds inside
angering fumes blew the skies
with no water or rain to soothe
but kerosene and fuel to boost...
Blazes roar an oven within
even smoke swirled a darkness in
no chimney out
no exhaust spout
holding inside the words I hide
And then....
Then they were lost
Lost to burnt out ashes...
Much as I try
but pressures out cry
tomorrow brings more
to a bursting balloon
exploding just about soon...
....
Sigh... I'd really wonder sometimes though, when can I just learn to say 'yes' even if it was with uncertainty?
Even if it was just all empty? Just to save the moment and think about beyond later....
The problem is, now....I can't seem to do so...
practical sanity hits...
I just need to set the plans right...
Need to see past the toils and troubles
To work what I've aimed for...
It's coming....soon it's coming...
forget what is boiling...
at work or with gambling crazed relations
neither with attitude I never saw reasons for....
just bad days...some days where you even try will not bring a plus...
gratitude not shown...warm embrace all kept...
I'll just need back a day or two to find...
find myself and put all behind
Coz the tomorrow I see
is the work of future I'll be
Bringing 2 or 3 or maybe 4 folds to bank my monthly bucks....
To work to think and to bring....I will...

Away with the depressing heart...