It's been trying...

In a long period when I could just sit and do some thinking of my own...
Where everything else stops revolving only the matters of heart and my mind...
I found that there are things that I've been prepared to giving everything for
but doesn't work out...yet there are things I've got absolutely no idea about just pops
into the stillness of my life and stirs things up.
My life has been just a dream... some dream where I wish I'd just wanna wake up from
and want to make things right.
Third day... away from love...

I've yearned to kiss her on her cool lips
hugging her with full emotions
filling my heart with warmth and gladness...
I yearn back those moments when I could just sit in daze looking at her...
sniffing around the sweet aroma by her neck and whispering love to her ears...
I miss those things...

L'amour est douleur...
Love is pain...
yet I'd want to go through it...
the tears I shed...
the aches I experienced
from every heart beat I felt....

I guess I should be lucky enough
that she has once loved me and
even had the thoughts of marry
but that was just a vision...

Some vision...

Enough to bring me up high...
but of course to fall with greater impact.

Those were the very moments I cherished and I wish come back...
As I imagine it all before me,
trust me unknowingly I actually did reach out in front of me
thinking that it was her I could feel...
But nothing...it was the cold air...
pure emptiness...

Oh well...
I guess she is getting on fine without me...seemingly happy...I hope she is
with the fact that I'm in pain...to make my pain worth...I hope she is happy...

sigh...

what's bliss? can anyone just tell me?
Felt I forgotting that already...it just vanished into the cracking heart of mine...
I just need to explode..!