Saturday, June 24, 2006

Rage takes over... anger sips in...pain thereafter...

A morning, started with some bang
a good wish message I sent
But all I saw was her fang
I was harmless...
Just me to wish her well for the day.
But it got smashed
just like stinking trash.
She doesn't feel it
she doesn't heck it...
But I feel it deep...
The effect was steep.
Was it that I did wrong?

arguements...her rage
somehow managed to switch on on today...
anger, sadness and being pissed was all I could say.
I'm sorry but it all forced raging stuff from me
putting all out that people could see
I've regretted nothing...
no regrets being with her
or having loved her...
or having cared for her...
or having done everything or anything with her.
But I regretted saying what I said today.
My mind was clear...
but my raging point was near...
my greatest fear came true.
like no mind clearing process could ease me of it all...
the pain, the anger....it all kept inside...
I could hold it not.
I regret saying all those things to her...
asking her to shut up...
and blabbering about her self righteous shit...
Just wanna turn back the hands of time...
but I know I can't...
so what's the point of thinking.
I'm exhausted....I'm tired...
Just be...
She perceives things in her strange way...
I see it simplistic...
whatever...
says I'm sending her on guilt trip which I'm not
never intended to coz
there is no need with her like frost...
made me feel so cold that
I've even questions if she'd feel anything between us in the first place
so I'm not thinking...
never was anymore...
But if she thinks she has...
keeping the feeling deep in her...
then good.
in time then we'll see...or maybe not...
Time...the healer...
but my creator of shit...
I went crazy for her...
and yet crazy with her....
Just another painful day...
I may not be the only one feeling this today...
but if there isn't expression
of any fancy fashion...
how would I know... well I need not know
not now...
All I know..my baby I've been fond...
is now walked away and gone...


Oh whatever.....

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