The love that I built for
The care and concern I only have for....
was you and now it's gone...
one by one...
just like baby steps...
it fiddled away...
creeping away from me...
all alone I am...
better off away from this earth...
which I now don't see meaning for...
Coz the one I saw meaning in...
even to end any bonds or ties I had of future prospects...
is gone...
walked away from me...
so what's the point now?...
fighting myself not to get affected?...
it's the impossible that I've always feared coming....
all the time I've always wanted to give you surprises..
but either found out...spoiled or found unwanted...
every little bit no matter how hard...
I'd worked for...
and yet have been the first I've ever gone out to work for...
to get things for...
specialty?...
well, I don't do or go to such distance for anyone...
but you...
all you say, you're high maintenance and thus, it's gona be hard for me to up keep...
when all I'm saying is I keep trying...
I believe patience is a virtue...
it's something I held on all the time...
keeping calm and unangered towards you...
where towards you, my temper I tamed...
towards no other...they have seen such in me...
but to you...
everything is different.
How you see me...
is very different from how the others see or they get to see...
because it's been different for them...towards them
compared to you.
Coz you've been special.
I love you.
All this while...
I may not be a type who smokes...likes drinking and stuff...but...
even when it happens on you...
do I take it as you don't love me that much to control yourself?
I don't...
Coz I accept...
I may not like...but I grow to accept who you are...
and in love, or my love for you has been to accept the person you are and they way you are.
That's where you also see however things went...
whatever you did...
I'd still be at the corner...waiting...
in pain or iin tears
but ending with a smile towards you....hoping to hug and kiss you once more
and for you to accept me...
Very much earlier...
put across 3 phases of 400V having a potential across me...
that split... my fight was to be back...
like I made a deal with God...
that if I could just tell you I love you just one more time...
even if I have to go somehow...
with a heart attack....
it'll be all worth it...
Well I guess... now... since all is done...
whatever happens... matter does it not...
the chapter in my life...
coming to a close...
reopen to anew it may not...
just where I am....
sitted...alone...
helpless...
cold...
loveless...
where I fight alone with the dimension of time...
a race I consistantly have been through all the time since I came to work my life...
but whether the fight goes on...
it doesn't matter...
what matters is I've lost...
I've lost you...
the one special...the one I love...
I may not be the perfect person to be with...
but all I can say, I've never lost myself against you...
my mind,
my will,
my temper...
my love...
there was no other coming to level with you in me...
coz there was only you...
and my life surrounded you...
like where I am...is a subset of what school and you are...
there within is my life...just me...
no life...if you drop off...coz school...is just dead.