Went to chruch today...
Realised something really true today...
Marriage is yet another vocation....
A sacred vocation that both sides have to be opened to one another
to feel the love...
to share with each other the kind of person each of them are...
to share the life together...
That alone, isn't something easy at all...
Very often we get trapped in our own world...
our own space that we'd never wanna change.
Coz it's the very way we want it to be....the very vision we see it to be
and how we'd have it.
But when it comes to sharing a life with another, it's all a breaking down of our own beliefs
and a construction of a whole new set together with another person.

And the construction...is a process that isn't gona be easy...
Collaboration....compromise...hard work...understanding...and lots of other things.
Holding on strong to that someone... is yet the most important...
esp when in this present society, either sides....men and women the same sway...
taking a walk to the forbidden fruits...and commit something they'd regret doing
but have already done so...no turning back on it...just repent.
But it's already a scar.

Here I stand...by myself...
I've yet to decide on which way to walk to...
like a clearing fog...
just like I'd wanna settle, but yet after being through so many...
I've got this fear that I'll fall upon a relationship that will be so hard to sustain.
That somehow cripples...
That for one is the worry that I've always been having....
That's the thing that always gotten me thinking before I even say yes and given myself the go ahead.
I've got a good appetite for risk but when it comes to this... I don't...
Somehow I just can't anymore...
Tired maybe...just wanna settle for someone I'd live with through my life...
happily.
Just pray on it...
Just hope on it...
Just search and ponder...
one in mind but yet to wonder abt...
I guess time will tell...
time spent to understand and realise.
that...like I said before...will be part of my plans after exams...